The Irish Medical Dictionary

The Irish have a low stress rate because they do not take medical terminology seriously. You are going to die anyway, so live life.

Irish Medical Dictionary

Artery......................The study of paintings
Bacteria....................Back door to cafeteria
Barium..................... What doctors do when patients die
Benign......................What you be, after you be eight
Caesarean Section.......... A neighbourhood in Rome
Cat scan....................Searching for Kitty
Cauterize...................Made eye contact with her
Colic.......................A sheep dog
Coma........................A punctuation mark
Dilate......................To live long
Enema.......................Not a friend
Fester......................Quicker than someone else
Fibula......................A small lie
Impotent....................Distinguished, well known
Labour Pain.................Getting hurt at work
Medical Staff...............A Doctor's cane
Morbid......................A higher offer
Nitrates....................Cheaper than day rates
Node........................I knew it
Outpatient..................A person who has fainted
Pelvis......................Second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative..............A letter carrier
Recovery Room...............Place to do upholstery
Rectum......................Nearly killed him
Secretion...................Hiding something
Seizure.....................Roman emperor
Tablet......................A small table
Terminal Illness............Getting sick at the airport
Tumour.......................One plus one more
Urine.......................Opposite of you're out _


Laughter is the best medicine, particularly if it is at one's own expense.
Thanks to the Quinn family from Dublin for these thigh slappers.