If it's not for money, then why do you write?

 

A friend asked me, "If it's not for money then why do you write?"

It would be foolish to say that 'money is not important' but can that and should that be, the only reason for doing anything? 

Writing I suppose is like playing golf. 

One really doesn't play for money or against an opponent, but for oneself against oneself. Attempting to improve oneself from the previous day. Meaning that one should write for one's own sake and for oneself, improving with each piece in clarity, brevity, impact and pleasure.

If I write something nice, correct or agreeable, I get a decent number of replies providing me some new learning.

If I wish to learn something more, I have to only make or plant an error. Then I am bombarded with criticism, corrections and different perspective.

I suppose like men can usually never resist a bad girl, it is difficult for readers to resist a writer who in their opinion needs correcting and learning.

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Because of my writing, I have found several teachers, discovered some students, and befriended many, in this insanely wonderful world.

Every day offers an opportunity to share good wishes. Today is special because it is the new year day for the vast majority of Indians. I send you greetings and good wishes.

Children of Israel - Humour

At Hebrew School, Goldblatt, the new teacher, finished the day's lesson. It was now time for the usual question period.
"Mr. Goldblatt," announced little Joey, "there's something I can't figure out."
"What's that Joey?" asked Goldblatt.
"Well accordin' to the Bible, the Children of Israel crossed the Red Sea, right?"
"Right."
"An' the Children of Israel beat up the Philistines, right?"
"Er--right."
"An' the Children of Israel built the Temple, right?"
"Again you're right."
"An' the Children of Israel fought the 'gyptians, an' the Children of Israel fought the Romans, an' the Children of Israel wuz always doin' somethin' important, right?"
"All that is right, too," agreed Goldblatt. "So what's your question?"
"What I wanna know is this," demanded Joey. "What wuz all the grown-ups doin"?


My thanks to Harish Daswani for this joke.

Insatiable people

People are generally difficult to please. 
Seeking more for less, is a natural human trait. However, there is a group of insatiable people for whom more is never enough.

Who are these insatiable people? 
Generally speaking you can never fully satisfy, Customers, Boss, Parents, Teachers and Wife.




No matter what you do, this group of people  keep driving you to do more, supposedly to progress and to become excellent. Progress and excellence however, are not goals, they are philosophies, a way of thinking and performing. No one is excellent so we are constantly and bluntly reminded of our imperfections and the need to do more.


This is how it works. They set you some goals or ask you to perform a task often disguised as a request.
Off you go and surprisingly even achieve it, feeling pretty good about yourself. The insatiable will inevitably let you know that your performance was  ok, but you need to do better. 

I have waited all my life for acknowledgement, if not appreciation from people in this category, and after 58 years, I am still waiting. These are the people who kept moving the goalposts, further away whenever I reach them.


The customer wants his rupee to travel further, he wants more value  for what he pays. However value has no upper limit. When is value enough? So they ask for better prices, better quality, shorter deliveries, harder, softer, sweeter, more personalised attention, more variety, less variety, .............. etc.




Bosses are people who are experts on everything and because they pay a salary, they believe they own people.  Things are made more challenging for employees, because most of the time the bosses themselves are clueless on what they want or need.

Some bosses are born, some achieve bossiness and some bosses are thrust on others. Merit is surprisingly often ignored, in the journey of people to becoming bosses,  stealth and cunning are more at work.

Many juniors wonder, like the tortoise on a post, "How the hell did he or she get there?" 



Staying on top is difficult, a boss needs to perform. If bosses get competent subordinates they spend sleepless nights because they might lose out to their juniors. If they surround themselves with inept 'yes men' they cannot perform. Can you blame the boss for being nervous and dissatisfied?

(Good bosses are rare and studies show that 72% of people are willing to take pay cuts if someone would change the boss.)





Parents try their hardest to achieve their dreams through the children. They could take a cue from Khalil Gibran who wrote, **"Children come through you, yet they belong not to you".**

Parents have a great investment in their children and like any good investor they want their investment to perform well.  Successful children are expected to provide higher social standing for parents, which seems to be terribly important to parents.

Parents love their children so much that they will do anything for their children, except let them be themselves.

_____________________________

There are good and their bad teachers. Good teachers are inevitably insatiable.
They choose their students and disciples and then drive them to the edge, almost.
They are probably the purest of the insatiable people.


A wife is an enigma. Even great and successful men have problems in meeting the expectations of the wife. Men are rarely able to decipher what the woman actually means or wants. 

The wife want her man to succeed, but rarely know what needs to be done. She knows that nagging and criticising the man will move him. Unfortunately all movement is not progress.

Maybe the reason why there are more successful men then women, is that women do not have wives.


Insatiable people usually drive us, some positively and other destructively. The mistake they often make is in their belief that they own the person. One can own own things but you cannot own people. Even a slave, you can own his body but never his heart and mind. 

Ownership or possession kills the spirit of the individual. Pushing people results in resentment and poor performance over time. 

On the other hand those who excite people, and get them into believing in themselves are happier and more effective. Resulting in self motivated,  proactive, contented people who are and usually more positive and successful.

My father and Uncle and many of my teachers are long gone. I have new customers and the same wife, but the music is the same. 

I grumble about these insatiable people, but thank God they were and some still there. For I would have been a lesser person without them.

What does teaching mean?

Sept 5th is celebrated as  Teacher's day in India. On that day Rohan an earnest young student friend of mine, telephoned to thank me for teaching him and changing his life, by my writing and our interactions.

I thanked Rohan for his kind words but clarified that crediting me with his learning was in my opinion unjustified. 

I should have been flattered or at least touched by his sincere greetings, but I wasn't.
I asked myself, "If it was not arrogance I felt, then what was it?"

He asked me "If this is not teaching then what was it?"
I had no reply but I had many questions. Questions, I had to seek answers to.

Today, October 5th, is World Teacher's day. I can offer the following thoughts.

Teaching and learning are two sides of the same coin. Unfortunately the two have grown so apart that they are effectively disconnected. No doubt, nowadays  there is a lot of teaching and even more testing but it is doubtful that there is much learning taking place.


As John Lubbock said about modern teaching, "We strain the memory instead of cultivating the mind."

Why is it said that? "A student is not a vessel to be filled but a lamp to be lit"


A vessel when filled cannot absorb anything more, in fact it rejects anything that is additional or new. That is why most students cannot retain much of what they are 'taught'. At best they retain information only for a short period of time, sufficient duration to get them through the tests.

On the other hand, once lit the lamp provides illumination wherever it reaches, thus dispelling the darkness called ignorance. A lamp also helps light other lamps. Learning demands more learning as a fuel, just like a lamp demands more oil to keep on burning. The greatest learning being 'learning to learn'.




This is all about learning but then what does teaching mean?

It could be said that -

    

Teaching is the art of assisting and facilitating discovery.

Once we set off on a voyage of discovery, life becomes an endless adventure.


On this adventure called learning we will discover many things and experience many relationships, not all of them pleasant or useful, but in the end like Rohan we will hopefully discover ourselves.

Ineptocracy

Power hungry people always find a way to get to the top of the pyramid of power or die trying. They know how to use and discard people and manipulate levers of power effectively. Power is so intoxicating that people who acquire it become insatiable and typically want more and more until they themselves are consumed by power itself.

Democracy as it was born gave relief to the masses and a good shot at changing their means of survival and progress. It however requires that the people exercise wisdom in the choices they make. Democracy is unfortunately under siege. Instead of providing a better world and India, it has in fact mutated into something toxic called an 'ineptocracy'.

People are made to believe that democracy provides a government of the people, by the people and for the people. Nothing can be further from the truth. Leaving aside the rhetoric, the press briefings and speeches, it is now 'a government of the evil, by the cunning and power hungry for the benefit of a select few.'

History clearly shows that across the world across nearly all time that a group of people representing a marginal percentage of  the population are the 'haves' and the vast majority are the 'have nots'. The politician needs the money and resources of the haves and the voting numbers of the 'have nots', while promising to protect each group from the other.

Our current model of government evolved a long time ago and the result is INEPTOCRACY, which can be defined as; 

A system of government where the least capable to lead are elected by the least capable of producing, and where the members of society least likely to sustain themselves or succeed, are rewarded with goods and services paid for by the confiscated wealth of a diminishing number of producers.

When a state reaches a position where approximately 50% of it's citizens rely on the largess of the state for their continued sustenance, the form of government becomes one of ineptocracy.

The least capable to lead are not fools, they are extremely intelligent and cunning with questionable morals. They just know how to game the system and devote their whole lives in manipulating the system. The only consolation for Indians is that this disease is not restricted to our country but even to most of the developed countries.

People making choices on careers and electing their leaders should do a bit of homework and then make informed choices on how to proceed. I for one, am not going to vote for people that will push us further towards an ineptocracy. 

______________________________

What are the management lessons I can share with you?

An outcome of my many years of teaching and consulting with organisations and families, it is observed that there are 3 possible types of leaders, based on rewards and punishments. 

The first is the briber. This person is normally an incompetent person and has no other choice but to keep bribing the people to support him or her. This is not difficult to implement because one can always be gracious with someone else's money and resources. This is why the government of India under the UPA leadership has been compelled to spend Rs 11 trillion in past decade in programs of highly questionable value. The follower or employee gladly takes the bribes but often feels offended and alienated. When the sops dry up the followers leave and seek other alternatives.  A problem for bribers is that the followers or dependents become addicted to sops and soon grow dissatisfied and they need even larger doses of bribes. Such leaders are initially lauded but soon despised, and they are almost always never respected. 

The second type are the slave drivers or 'intimidators', the primary tool they use is fear. They so intimidate the followers that they do not dare disobey. They work towards crushing the individuality and collective identity of people. Once implemented this approach delivers very fast results and impact of change can be rapid. This is possibly what is happening in China. Unfortunately gains tend to reverse as soon as the fear factor diminishes. The performance of followers is also just above bare minimum so that they escape punishment. Many school teachers and administrations also use this approach. Such leaders are often hated. They demand respect but almost never get it. 

The third type are the true leaders, they use a blend of positive reinforcement while wielding a big stick.  They normally have a well thought out strategy which is communicated and excites their followers. The leader's dream becomes the dream and vision of the followers. This is based on educating, facilitating, supporting and encouraging followers. Performers are suitably rewarded after evaluation by a transparent system, and non performers are encouraged to perform better after due dialogue and analysis. The laggards are often cast aside and supported to survive but fall behind the main group.  This approach is the foundation and builds a meritocracy. Typically leaders adopting this style of leadership are hated and loved at the same time, but always command respect.

I am not that young to know everything

After emigrating from Burma in 1964 our parents set up home in Bombay.

Even then, there was a severe shortage of good schools. So two of my brothers and I were sent to beautiful Pune to spend most of our schooling years as boarders at The Bishops School.

In 1969 my uncle Sardar Manohar Singh ji moved to Pune to start a factory to manufacture automotive and engineering components. In 1972, upon Uncle's insistence, my brother Parvinder and I left the hostel to stay with him and our two aunts Prem Kaur ji and Rajbans Kaur ji.

Being a day scholar was great in many ways, meeting girls, the freedom from the boarding school regimen and of course the food. I however missed my boarding school friends for the mischief and the games etc.

Everything always turns out for the better for I had the opportunity to have two sets of parents.

My uncle was my dad's business partner and also head of the family. He was, and remains my idol. Uncle Manohar ji seemed to have answers to nearly every question that my chattering mind could think of. Having no children of their own, our uncle and aunts pampered us while maintaining a strict sense of discipline and protocol.

He took us swimming, golfing, yachting , gliding, aero modelling, tennis. Even at that tender age he taught both of us brothers all sorts of technical stuff, and many holidays and weekends were spent doing various assignments at the factory. My uncle was a tough father figure, yet he was a great teacher and also my best friend.

From him I learnt how to rely on myself by continuously discovering and improving myself. I learnt about commitment, integrity, love, friendship, play, survival, and to be the best I could be.

Uncle Manohar ji and my father had formal schooling only till the fourth grade. They had no choice, outbreak of hostilities of the second world war Burma disrupted many lives.. Yet the two brothers educated themselves by reading voraciously, they learnt to speak impeccable English, developed into successful businessmen and industrialists. They travelled the world, and contributed both their time and their money to society in numerous ways.

I was amazed at how my dad and uncle could hold interesting conversations with people of all walks of life. When I asked him how that was possible Uncle said; "A well educated person should know something about everything and everything about something", this was a belief that shaped my outlook on life.

I was and still remain in awe of my uncle. Numerous days and evenings were spent with him, observing him and hearing stories, legends, facts, beliefs, that gradually shaped my mind and values. He often told me no matter how successful or big your parents become, you must make your own mark. Do not rest until you have achieved something.


Uncle Manohar ji was a good teacher and lit a flame in me.
For a long time I would lap up whatever uncle Manohar told me.
Then as I grew into a young man I naturally thirsted for independence. Independence to try my ideas, to live my life as I often dreamed of. so I began to probe further. In time this led to more discussions and then finally to debates. Though always obedient and respectful I started presenting my viewpoints to my uncle with more conviction and force.

Herein lies the contradiction; parents want their children to rise and shine but always want to keep them sheltered under their wings. We frequently forget as Khalil Gibran the great Lebanese Poet said; " Your children may come from you, but they belong not to you".

When the discussions turn into debates it is a frustrating time for both children and parents. The parents find it difficult to accept the new and assertive child. Gurvinder now has ideas of his own and articulates them with greater conviction. On the other hand young people can't understand why their parents are so rigid, inflexible, and overprotective.

This sparring went on for a few months until one evening in the midst of a debate my uncle with resignation said; "You are right, you are absolutely right."
I was stunned. My very wise uncle, intensely competitive was anything but a pushover and here he merely conceded that I was right. I heard him repeat himself and then he smiled.
"When I was your age even I knew everything. Now I am 52 years old and I now realise how little I know." He continued "This is not your fault , it is the nature of youth, for it so fills you with optimism, vigour and supreme confidence".

My sons have recently joined the family business and we all work together. We have numerous debates sometimes silly and quite fruitless. The conflicts are mainly on the wisdom and caution of aging parents versus the dynamism and eternal optimism of youth.

Though we always come to an agreement this consumes much energy , but I like to believe it's a useful investment of energy. Youth should constantly test themselves and challenge the status quo. We elders and parents may not always feel comfortable with it but this is the way it has been and this is how it will always be.

It is not easy and pretty challenging but I always try to remember Uncle Manohar ji's wise words. It is difficult to appreciate the impetus that youthful members bring to the team. After all who wants to be jolted? Revolutionary thinking, techniques, technology, and materials coupled with enormous drive, and confidence can be a boon to families and organisation if harnessed well. I often move from doing to letting them do but to a plan which they submit and review and support them continuously.

On the other hand, youth if unguided can run amok. If over controlled will either rebel or lose all initiative and that would be a tragic loss of youthful zeal.

If left to their own devices they can easily destroy years of achievements and hard earned reputation very rapidly.

I know that knowledge is getting obsolete rapidly and therefore 'learning to learn' has been a guiding philosophy. At least two hours a day are spent on learning and keeping abreast of all kinds of developments.

It helps that I sharpen my mind constantly, but what to do with this middle aged heart which does not beat so strongly as before?