Always Wealthy

Always Wealthy

When they grow up, young birds leave the nest. So in 1985 three years after we got married, Mohini and I moved out from my parent's home to make space for the families of my two younger brothers.


We decided to  move to a small flat at Salunke Vihar on the outskirts of Pune. 

Salunke Vihar was a relatively large government built township meant to provide affordable housing at relatively low interest rates and soft payment terms, to our soldiers and their families. It was accessible from the main road only by a dirt road. In addition to retired people, the cheap rent attracted  many young couples like us, starting out afresh.

The township offered a large, open and safe space for families and children. The air was fresh and the community of residents friendly and caring. 

Accessibility was a challenge. Auto rickshaws rarely plied to that side and the bus service was pathetic and almost non existent. The nearest main road was 3 kilometres away, and therefore people often walked or had to depend on the  kindness of residents with vehicles.

Being a son of an industrialist albeit a small one, I was amongst the few people who owned a car in the society. Keeping with the spirit of the situation, every time we travelled the dirt road, we would offer a ride to fellow residents and even visitors. 

Every interaction provided stimulus to the mind and soul if one is open and receptive. Some good and some not so good, but always interesting. One encounter was fundamentally transformative. 

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It was about noon time on a hot May day where the summer peaks. It is never as hot in Pune as it is in other places like the Punjab or Delhi, but it was pretty uncomfortable.

I was driving to a meeting and in a hurry. I shot out of the main gate. Rounding the corner onto the dirt road, there I saw standing next to the road an elderly man,  with a small bag by his side.

Ram Singh ji

The elderly man was mopping his forehead and face. Though I was inclined, I debated for a second whether I had the time to stop and offer him a ride.

'Always trying to do good, I stopped to offer him a ride.'


The old man slowly shuffled up to and agonisingly slowly got into my car. He was taking so damn long, this old man was further delaying me. For a moment I questioned my decision to give him a ride.

_The old gentleman sensed my irritation. Speaking in Hindi he said, “Forgive me for the trouble and thank you so much son. May God bless you and keep you happy.” Now I felt a bit ashamed at my insensitivity._

Blessing me and thanking me, blessing me and thanking me, he went on and on. When he thanked me for about the fifth time, I interrupted him and told him, "You do not have to apologise nor thank me, its not an inconvenience at all, we are both on the same route anyway." I added that at least he was appreciative of my assistance, unlike some people who did not acknowledge my gestures.

He smiled and nodded his head and said, "I understand what you mean. May I ask you a question?"
Of course I like nothing more than an interesting conversation and that is why I probably gave people rides in the first place. I replied "No problem. Please ask."

"Why did you give me a lift?" He asked. " Did you see a man on the road and think that let me give him a ride and then he will feel obligated to me, or did your heart speak with your conscience and asked you to do a good deed to this old man and give him a much needed lift?" he added.

I told him that I felt compassion towards him and thought it would be nice to assist him.

He responded, “Does that not mean, you were only following your heart’s desire and did the good deed? So logically speaking, it should make no difference to you whether I thank you or am grateful to you or not?"

He continued “May I say that, your heart desired something and that you were able to accomplish it, that itself is your reward. If you have got your reward, it should matter not whether I thank you or not."

I was stunned by the realisation of a great truth that this wise old man just revealed.

He continued, "The poor of the world are not only those who do not have shelter or enough food, and other necessities. They are also those who cannot do what their heart desires. My son, you are blessed and truly wealthy for you are able to follow your heart’s desire."

We reached the main road in the few minutes we had this conversation, I was captivated and hungry for more of him. I wanted to hang on to this awesome man and never let him go. He however insisted that I drop him there at the bus stop.

I waited for a minute and then his bus arrived. He stepped onto the bus which slowly disappeared out of sight and physically out of my life. But the old gentleman and his presence and words will be with me for ever.

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I contemplated what had just transpired. I felt foolish about my puny ego. In a matter of five minutes this seemingly insignificant yet great man had shaken me awake and transformed my life.

I learnt that unhappiness stems from unfilled expectations. If I had no expectations for the good that I did to others, I would give more, and yet be happier. Was it not my good fortune that I had the God given opportunity to be compassionate?

Life is made up of good times and not so good times. I was sometimes broke, but I was never poor. The valuable lesson I learnt that afternoon has transformed me.


I learnt that the the joy is in the doing and not in the expectation of the fruit. I would do what I had to and let The universe do the rest.

I realised, I will always be wealthy, because I follow my heart.

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Goodbye dear father.

On the 1st day of Sept with a gurgle and a cough my father left this world just as he arrived into it.

Concerned friends and relatives, dutifully tried to console me.
I was inconsolable because my mindless heart could not stop crying.
I was unduly brave because my heartless mind refused to let me grieve.

Some said it was an auspicious day to die. How can any day be a good day to lose someone you love?

Brilliant, hardworking, witty and charming, our father Man Singh ji 1928 -2014) was an extraordinary teacher and man. Even in his passing on from this world he continued to provide valuable lessons.

Dad's life was a very long roller coaster ride, achieving great heights and many precipitous falls. Yet the spirit of such people always remains strong. They are warriors fighting against great odds and overcoming challenges.

Dad and Uncle Manohar Singh ji, created great fortunes against huge odds only to lose them due to greater misfortune time and again. 'Never give up', was their motto. yet when this life's journey's end is near the good soul knows when to give in to His will.

My dad had been bidding farewell gently, from the past three years. His vision dimmed, hearing gone, and his speech almost silent. Dad's being was blanketed by wonderful grace and an erie calmness.

Maybe God answered Dad's prayers by taking away all anger, ego and greed from him. It was a blessing, for dad stopped judging people and events. He saw only goodness and wonder in everyone and everything.

We spent many mornings together and I learnt much by being with him. I want to share this learning with you.

In spite of having much to be angry and resentful about, dad's heart was at peace, filled with humility, love and compassion he sought forgiveness from one and all. He meditated and prayed a lot. 

Especially when young, 'Man the Animal' is selfish and filled with insatiable greed for power, wealth and influence. As people age and if they are blessed, 'Man the Saint' is filled with understanding, love and compassion, and like a pendulum our lives swing between these two extremes. 

Failings my dad had many. Drive and intelligence he had even more. Kindness and  compassion he possessed beyond belief. My dad was an enigma. Come to think of it, most children can never understand their parents. All that lucky children can get, is the opportunity to appreciate and take advantage of the bounty of love and learning that they get showered with by their parents.

The soul always knows what is right, but rarely do we listen to it, because the mind will not be still. This is what prayer and then mediation is all about, the ability to listen to the soul.

Therefore the search for truth and understanding is never an outward journey but an inward journey. A journey to the core of our existence which is possible only by meditating.

The soul is like a Hans (Swan) which wants to soar to the heavens and reunite with God but it is shackled to this material world by our lust, greed, attachments, anger and ego. 

God has been kind to my father in the past several years by unshackling him almost completely from all these normal human traits. I pray that He will receive and accept my father Man Singh ji and grant his soul peace.

* Goodbye is a short form of 'God be with you'

Western Civilisation

In 1928, at a high point of the agitation for independence during British rule in India, the besieged British government received Mahatma Gandhi ji as their guest in London as the representative of the Indian people to try to resolve the crisis.

Fearless in his principles, Gandhi ji was firm but polite in his manner, disagreeing without being disagreeable. 
During an interview, a British reporter asked Gandhi ji; "What do you think of western civilisation?"

Gandhiji replied, "I think it will be a good idea."

Apparently amusing, the statement revealed an ugly facet of what is commonly misunderstood to be progress and civilisation. 

Industrialisation gave mankind a huge leap in material progress, lifting millions out of poverty and misery. Unfortunately it was mainly confined to Japan, Australia, Europe and America, placing them in a powerfully advantageous position over non industrialised nations. This led to a skewed global power balance grossly in favour of America, Europe, etc.

Power unfortunately is a dangerous addiction, and those who acquire it will try not only to maintain it but enhance it at all costs. When driven purely by greed the best of people can and often do turn savage. This is what Gandhi ji was referring to as “The Western Civilisation’. 

This civilisation led to the global destruction of indigenous cultures and their people by numerous ways. Not only justifying but legitimising slavery, colonisation, apartheid, world wars etc. 

Mindless industrialisation has exploited and ravaged the earth, despoiling lands and poisoning the air and water. The greater tragedy is not that Western civilization has fallen way short and committed great blunders, but that the other developing nations have learnt nothing from history and plunge headlong to repeat the same blunders. As the enslaved nations became free they followed the same model as the West followed, of mindless and often inappropriate industrialization. This trend has made our environment and relationships toxic. 

    

Now India and China are the fastest rising economies in GDP and sadly the most rapid in decline in quality of life. Environmental degradation and stress related diseases have reached alarming levels. 

Apparently huge material gains have been realised on the back of uncontrolled and irresponsible industrialization but at a terrible price to humanity and to the world. Many sacrifices have been made but none greater than selling our souls. 

Modern civilization has given birth to unbridled materialism. Now things matter more than people and nature. The soul after all differentiates humans from other living creatures and if our soul is lost then all is lost.

If Gandhi ji were present today he might correct himself and say “Human civilization would be a good idea.”

The root cause of the problem is greed and exploitation. Exploitation of people, and nature is always counterproductive and will always come back to haunt the exploiters and eventually harm us.

Replace exploitation by sustainability, greed by compassion, confrontation by cooperation. If we think and practice win-win approaches, respecting nature and people so that there is inclusive benefit, then we will always be winners.

  

Appearing an alarmist or a pessimist is one of the ways to appear intelligent. However that is not helpful beyond the point of drawing attention to important issues.

We often underestimate the power of 'One'. That is the ability of each individual to make a difference.  

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Appearing an alarmist or a pessimist is one of the ways to appear intelligent. However that is not helpful beyond the point of drawing attention to important issues.


We often underestimate the power of 'One'. That is the ability of each individual to make a difference.  

I am rich because I follow my heart.

We were a family consisting of my parents and us six brothers and sisters.
Then we grew up and the family bloomed to 27 members.

As we joined the business, our father who advised us, that a family working together should not stay together or vice versa. No one wanted to leave but gradually we all outgrew the little house we stayed in. One by one, as the birds leave the nest we too left our parental home as we got married to establish our own nuclear families.

Our family believed in investing every rupee we had in the family business.
In spite of all the protests of the womenfolk, all our lives we stayed in rented premises.
This may sound silly to people who withdraw their money from their businesses and invest in other businesses and properties. To us it meant that they saw better security and returns in these new investments rather than their core business. We believed in our work and bet everything in our company all our lives.
Faint of heart we were not, and we could not conceive of investing money in any other area than our own business. So that explains why we always stayed in rented premises.

A few years after I and Mohini wed, we moved to a small flat at Salunke Vihar on the outskirts of Pune city.
Salunke Vihar was a large construction project by the standards of those days, built for providing accommodation for members of the Indian Armed Forces at competitive rates and soft payment terms.
The society stood alone in the barren wilderness with only a dirt road access. Rents were cheap and flats available in abundance so it attracted lots of young people and new migrants to our city. The nearest main road was about three kilometres away where one could catch an auto rickshaw or bus to where ever people wanted to travel.


With a mixture of people serving in the Defence services with their disciplined manner and many civilian youngsters, there existed an atmosphere of camaraderie and fun. Most of the tenants were people, at a stage of transition in their lives starting new careers and families. Such was the atmosphere, where we had to cope with a lot of inconveniences that we became an interesting community where you could see a lot of good in people, even amongst relative strangers. Many of our neighbours have become lifelong friends.

Being a son of an industrialist albeit a small one I was amongst the people who owned a car in the society. Keeping with the spirit of the situation, every time we travelled the dirt road, we would offer a ride to fellow residents and even visitors. After giving them a ride sometimes people would thank us, sometimes they would not even acknowledge your assistance. This lack of appreciation and courtesy perturbed me.

I met many people and had some interesting experiences but one encounter changed my life. This experience changed me and my outlook on life completely.
Twenty five years later I can still remember the events very vividly. It was a hot day in May and about noon time. May is the season in Pune where the summer peaks. It is never as hot as in other places like the Punjab or Delhi but it got pretty uncomfortable.

It was a Thursday and our factory was closed for the day. I was on an errand and running a bit late. As I rushed out of the main gate of the housing complex I hit the dirt road. Rounding the corner, there I saw standing next to the road an old man. His back slightly stooped with age and a small bag by his side.

He had a round chubby and pleasant look about him. This old man wore a colourful bush shirt and had a big straw hat on his head. Looking like a character right out of a movie. The gentleman was mopping his forehead and face as he was sweating profusely. I debated stopping to give him a lift or continue rushing to my appointment.


Being a Boy Scout all my life, doing good deeds came naturally to me, and I enjoyed helping people. Feeling sympathetic towards this interesting looking person, I decided to be the Good Samaritan. I felt both compelled and obliged to offer him a ride.

Slowly the old man shuffled up to and into my car. For a second I regretted my decision to give him a lift as he was taking so long delaying me further. I wished he would move quicker but he dissolved my impatience by apologising and thanking me at the same time saying in Hindi “May God bless you and keep you happy”
On and on he went, blessing me and thanking me. When he thanked me for about the tenth time I grew embarrassed or was I irritated, or maybe both?

I told him, it wasn't a big deal and not an inconvenience for me to give him a ride. After all I was passing that way anyways. I added that at least he was appreciative of my kind gesture unlike many people who were ungrateful.

He smiled and nodded his head and said" I know what you mean and how it feels. May I ask you a question?"
Of course I like nothing more than an interesting conversation and that is why I probably gave people rides in the first place. I replied "No problem. Please ask."

"Why did you give me a ride?" He asked. " Did you see a man on the road and think that let me give him a ride and then he will feel obligated to me, or did your heart spoke with your conscience and asked you to do a good deed to this old man and give him a much needed ride?" he added.

I told him that I felt sorry for him and thought it would be nice to assist him.

He responded, “That means, you only followed your heart’s desire and did the good deed. So it should not make a difference to you whether I thank you or am grateful to you or not."

He continued “Your heart desired something and that you were able to accomplish it, that itself is your reward. It should matter not whether I thank you or not."

Finally he added, "The poor of the world are not only those who do not have shelter or enough food, but also those who cannot implement what their heart desires.You are blessed and truly rich for you re able to follow your heart’s desire."

We reached the main road in the few minutes we had this conversation, I was so captivated I wanted to hang on to this awesome man. He insisted that I dropped him there at the bus stop.

He stepped onto the bus and eventually out of sight, but he and his words have been with me forever.

I contemplated what had just happened. I felt foolish about my puny ego. In a matter of five minutes this seemingly insignificant yet great man had awoken me and transformed my life.

I learnt that unhappiness stems from unfilled expectations. If I had no expectations for the good that I did to others, I would give more, and yet be happier. It is my good fortune that I had the God given opportunity to be compassionate.

I never forgot the lesson. It guided me in building a world class organisation and the lesson was invaluable in helping me cope and recover, when I lost nearly everything, including my brothers, our organisation and the trust of thousands of people.

I also learnt that the the joy is in the doing and not in the reward.". “I should follow my heart and do good things and I would always be wealthy.