22 Things that we can learn from happy people

There are two types of people in the world: those who are happy, and those who are unhappy. Contrary to popular belief, happiness doesn't come from fame, fortune, other people, or material possessions. Rather, it comes from within.
 

 The richest person in the world could be miserable while a homeless person could be right outside, smiling and content with their life. Happy people are happy because they make themselves happy. They maintain a positive outlook on life and remain at peace with themselves.
 

  The question is: How do they do that?
  It's quite simple. Happy people have good habits that enhance their lives. They do things differently. Ask any happy person, and they will tell you that they ...
 

 1. Don't hold grudges.
  Happy people understand that it's better to forgive and forget than to let their negative feelings crowd out their positive feelings. Holding a grudge has a lot of detrimental effects on your wellbeing, including increased depression, anxiety, and stress. Why let anyone who has wronged you have power over you? If you let go of all your grudges, you'll gain a clear conscience and enough energy to enjoy the good things in life.

  2. Treat everyone with kindness.
  Did you know that it has been scientifically proven that being kind makes you happier? Every time you perform a selfless act, your brain produces serotonin, a hormone that eases tension and lifts your spirits. Not only that, but treating people with love, dignity, and respect also allows you to build stronger relationships.

  3. See problems as challenges.
  The word "problem" is never part of a happy person's vocabulary. A problem is viewed as a drawback, a struggle, or an unstable situation while a challenge is viewed as something positive like an opportunity, a task, or a dare. Whenever you face an obstacle, try looking at it as a challenge.

  4. Express gratitude for what they already have.
  There's a popular saying that goes something like this: "The happiest people don't have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have."
You will have a deeper sense of contentment if you count your blessings instead of yearning for what you don't have.

   5. Dream big.
  People who get into the habit of dreaming big are more likely to accomplish their goals than those who don't. If you dare to dream big, your mind will put itself in a focused and positive state.

  6. Don't sweat the small stuff.
  Happy people ask themselves, "Will this problem matter a year from now?" They understand that life's too short to get worked up over trivial situations. Letting things roll off your back will definitely put you at ease to enjoy the more important things in life.

  7. Speak well of others.
  Being nice feels better than being mean. As fun as gossiping is, it usually leaves you feeling guilty and resentful. Saying nice things about other people encourages you to think positive, non-judgmental thoughts.

  8. Never make excuses.
  Benjamin Franklin once said, "He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else." Happy people don't make excuses or blame others for their own failures in life. Instead, they own up to their mistakes and, by doing so, they proactively try to change for the better.

  9. Get absorbed into the present.
  Happy people don't dwell on the past or worry about the future. They savor the present. They let themselves get immersed in whatever they're doing at the moment. Stop and smell the roses.

  10. Wake up at the same time every morning.
  Have you noticed that a lot of successful people tend to be early risers? Waking up at the same time every morning stabilizes your circadian rhythm, increases productivity, and puts you in a calm and centered state.

  11. Avoid social comparison.
  Everyone works at his own pace, so why compare yourself to others? If you think you're better than someone else, you gain an unhealthy sense of superiority. If you think someone else is better than you, you end up feeling bad about yourself. You'll be happier if you focus on your own progress and praise others on theirs.

  12. Choose friends wisely.
  Misery loves company. That's why it's important to surround yourself with optimistic people who will encourage you to achieve your goals. The more positive energy you have around you, the better you will feel about yourself.

  13. Never seek approval from others.
  Happy people don't care what others think of them. They follow their own hearts without letting naysayers discourage them. They understand that it's impossible to please everyone. Listen to what people have to say, but never seek anyone's approval but your own.

   14. Take the time to listen.
  Talk less; listen more. Listening keeps your mind open to others' wisdoms and outlooks on the world. The more intensely you listen, the quieter your mind gets, and the more content you feel.

  15. Nurture social relationships.
  A lonely person is a miserable person. Happy people understand how important it is to have strong, healthy relationships. Always take the time to see and talk to your family, friends, or significant other.

  16. Meditate.
  Meditating silences your mind and helps you find inner peace. You don't have to be a zen master to pull it off. Happy people know how to silence their minds anywhere and anytime they need to calm their nerves.

  17. Eat well.
  Junk food makes you sluggish, and it's difficult to be happy when you're in that kind of state. Everything you eat directly affects your body's ability to produce hormones, which will dictate your moods, energy, and mental focus. Be sure to eat foods that will keep your mind and body in good shape.

  18. Exercise.
  Studies have shown that exercise raises happiness levels just as much as Zoloft does. Exercising also boosts your self-esteem and gives you a higher sense of self-accomplishment.

  19. Live minimally.
  Happy people rarely keep clutter around the house because they know that extra belongings weigh them down and make them feel overwhelmed and stressed out. Some studies have concluded that Europeans are a lot happier than Americans are, which is interesting because they live in smaller homes, drive simpler cars, and own fewer items.

  20. Tell the truth.
  Lying stresses you out, corrodes your self-esteem, and makes you unlikeable. The truth will set you free. Being honest improves your mental health and builds others' trust in you. Always be truthful, and never apologize for it.

  21. Establish personal control.
  Happy people have the ability to choose their own destinies. They don't let others tell them how they should live their lives. Being in complete control of one's own life brings positive feelings and a great sense of self-worth.

  22. Accept what cannot be changed.
  Once you accept the fact that life is not fair, you'll be more at peace with yourself. Instead of obsessing over how unfair life is, just focus on what you can control and change it for the better.

My thanks to Harry Daswani for this piece.

Sat Sri Akal Daddy ji.

Last week my 83 year old father had a brain seizure. His brilliant brain, sort of short circuited, and he was suddenly mentally incoherent. All this caused by a condition called hypoatremia, where sodium levels in the body plummet.

As I sit by his bedside in the Intensive care unit of the hospital I listen to my father. Dad has lost touch with reality. Random communications tumble out of his mouth.

I observe that Dad is not fully conscious, yet he was struggling very systematically to undo the knots and bindings that strap his wrists to the hospital bed ( to prevent him from pulling out the various tubes and needles plunged into his frail body). I admired his persistent and combative nature fighting challenges even in his semi conscious state.

My admiration soon evaporates, and I am suddenly filled with dread and gloom. I realise that I may never be able to sit and talk about God, life, philosophy or politics and a thousand other things. We might never be able to share jokes and laugh again. I sense a strange hollowness in my being.

The hospital room is stifling and I go for a walk, I meet a couple of friends and try to pretend that everything is ok, Maybe this is just a bad dream, one from which I will wake up and learn that my anguish was caused by a trick played on me by my mind.

In the life of a family where you stay and work together, there is a lot of scope to do stupid stuff, to say and do things which we look back with regret in later years.
I and my father had our share of disagreements. I was too keen on doing things right and he was keen on getting things done asap (as soon as possible). I can't help but feel that he has been a better dad than I have been a son.

Dad and I were estranged for several years. Maybe it was a blessing that we lost everything that was material and thus eventually found our love in each other again. He hasn't changed that much but I have learnt to be a better son. I no longer wish to change him, I merely want to be with him.

Traditionally Indians have described their fathers as 'Anna Datha' the provider and hence life giver. The same term is also used for God. The one who gives and protects us. This we so readily forget.

I can recall numerous instances where our father walked those extra miles to get us whatever we desired or needed to guide and protect us, sometimes excessively. We were sometimes unreasonable and selfish, yet he never refused us anything, ever.

I remember when I was about 8 years of age and studying as a boarder in Bishops School, Pune. I can vividly recall my Dad riding one chilly morning into the school on a Lambaretta scooter with a bundle of blankets, one for each of us brothers. He had sensed that the winter was exceptionally cold and he had travelled 200 kilometers to Pune to get us extra blankets so that we would be warm.

My life is full of many kind acts of my parents and I am sure there in everyone’s life. The tragedy is, we seem to have a selective memory of remembering clearly the few unpleasant things they may have said or done while remaining blank on all the wonderful things and the sacrifices they have made for us.

It is difficult to understand human behaviour. Maybe it is best to stop rationalising and start feeling. I now know that feelings of love and gratitude humble us, and make us better people.

I feel blessed that I can look after my aging parents and my widowed aunt. Not to be their feeder and caretaker but to be their companion. This is always easier when you have a compassionate and supportive spouse.

All those who are born must leave us someday. Between the borning and the departing is but a short spell. Let us not waste it on collecting things at the price of losing family and friends.

I have nowhere to go and nothing to do. I want to just bask in the love and blessings of my parents. A service only lucky children are privileged to get.

I pray that my dad gets well soon and we can have a little more time together, doing nothing more than enjoying the passage of time.

I remember my Uncle Manohar Singh ji with whom I stayed for many years and who looked after my Grandmother with great devotion and love, once remarked; "The elderly need so little , but they need that little, so much".