Why does familiarity usually lead to contempt?

When we get together with friends and family we let down the masks we wear and drop the persona we adopt in front of the world, and mostly revert to being ourselves.

Family and friendship seems to grant to us the privilege to be ourselves. And by ourselves we are often irrational, emotional and unique and that make individuals appear strange to others.

Everyone is different and it is difficult if not impossible for people to be just like us and we constantly look for faults in our family and friends. Since these very people are in the inner circle of our existence we are very familiar with them and their character.

Whenever two creatures come together a hierarchy comes into being because the laws of nature dictate that overtly or subtly one tries to dominate the other. We try to make members of our group family, friends and colleagues come around to and conform to our way of thinking, talking and behaving and rise to our expectations. No one can meet our expectations or satisfy us, this is  in part because our own expectations themselves are constantly changing.

If we are more controlled by our animal instincts than our human qualities our familiarity with family, friend, and colleagues will make us feel contempt for them.

If we dare to be inspired and evolve both emotionally and intellectually, we will come to accept our family, friends and colleagues unconditionally, and try to adapt ourselves with their strengths and shortcomings to get the best out of them and ourselves.

Do not walk ahead of me, I might not follow,

Do not walk behind me, I might not lead,

Just walk beside me and be my friend.

It seems that both following and leading can be problematic. As the Guru taught us, "I am everyone's friend".

The difference between Success and Happiness

 

It is easy to get confused between success and happiness, often mistaking them be similar.

'Success' is getting what we want.

'Happiness' is wanting what we have got.

Success is a product of striving, and every striving is a journey. Journeying is like excellence, we never really arrive, for beyond each peak we conquer, another stands awaiting conquest.

Happiness on the other hand, is a state of being, it only needs an awakening, and a realisation.

In spite of the individual possessing the capacity and potential to be happy, we rarely permit ourselves the privilege of being happy. This is because Man the individual subordinates himself to Man the social creature and is thus doomed to be unhappy.

Constant criticism of and dissatisfaction with what we have by the individual trying to live to the standards and expectations of others and of society at large, finds it difficult if not  almost impossible to be happy. 

Happiness flowers within us, when we let go of expectations, and simply wallow in existence.

A first step is an appreciation of, and gratitude for what we are and what we have.

Who we are, will emerge in due course of time.

Happiness is most visible during the stage of childhood. Where innocence envelops us. The child unperturbed by the past and unconcerned about the future lives in the present.  That is why children are happy just enjoying the passage of time. 

This characteristic of children is worth emulating, while we teach our children about life, they are teaching us what life is all about.

Why are friendships sometimes lost?

 

In spite of wanting to see his friend, the  wise man restrained himself, thus not visiting his friend for many days.

When he did go to visit him, his friend remonstrated, 'Why have you taken so long to visit?'

The wise man replied, 'It is better than you asking me, why have you come again?'

Friendships are strained and even lost by interacting either too rarely or too often.

Friendship is like a 'Diya', an oil lamp. It requires a regular supply of fuel oil to keep  the flame of friendship alive. 

Meeting rarely or staying out of touch for long periods, is like depriving the lamp of sufficient oil. As a result the flame flickers and eventually dies out. 

Meeting too often is like pouring an excess of oil into the lamp, thus extinguishing the flame. Only the empty lamp remains, possibly with a few sparks but there is no flame. So it is with friendship.

Another way of understanding why friendships do not sustain is, what I describe as threshold capacity of one's personal space.

Each person has his or her threshold of having other people in their physical, intellectual, and emotional space.

Some need and want more, others a lot less.

Spending a lot of time sharing space with others, like in the army, or in travelling or working intimately together, being a member of a large and active joint family,  or having spent an extended time at boarding schools etc. it tends to enhance the threshold of accepting people in our life space.

Hence, I have a very high threshold for accommodating a large number of high intensity interactions simultaneously.   On the other hand my wife Mohini and some of my friends have a low threshold. They need the comfort of their private space a lot more and calibrate their lives accordingly.  

When friends, even good ones with widely different thresholds share their personal space, then, either sparks fly or exhaustion causes them to withdraw.

The solution is to be sensitive and understand the threshold levels of others. 

Unfortunately people sometimes misjudge or forget where that threshold level is, and I am one of them.

Note: Understanding and respecting the threshold is applicable not only to friendships but in fact all relationships. It is key to achieving success and realising happiness.

The eighth wonder is, swallowing the world.

There is so much beauty, and wonder in the universe, but it seems, we spend most of our lives, wondering, 'What is wrong with the world?'
Nothing and yet everything.

Nothing is wrong with Nature and Creation, its exquisite and unfathomable. So what we do not understand, we condemn.
Humankind, now that is a completely different matter, for here, everything seems to be wrong.
Which leads us to the question, 'What is the root cause of all that is wrong?'

The 'will to power', the desperate and insatiable desire to dominate all that we humans set our eyes on or even conceive, is the root cause of human suffering.

With time the methods and approach to acquiring power and dominating has changed and  grown more sophisticated. However two fundamental approaches remain unchanged, wealth and force. Both are transient, and temporary, but that has never stopped the human animal from relying on them.

Unfortunately other great human qualities of friendship, compassion, wisdom and respect which are more useful and enduring traits of our human nature have all been subordinated to the pursuit of wealth and power. The two are synonymous, because in a material world all power originates with wealth.

Almost every human benefit and progress, tragedy and setback can be traced to Man's pursuit of money.

So called modern society, is designed to earn, steal or extort money at every occasion. Government, politics, society, justice, law and order machinery, education, religion, healthcare/illness-care, art, literature, music, every aspect of society is structured focussed primarily on obtaining more wealth and power.

Those who don't have wealth want it, those who have it want even more of it. This craving is insatiable.

Unfortunately incredible material, and scientific progress has resulted in an unhappier, unhealthier and unsustainable world. This has made us beautiful humans, ugly.

The single greatest factor for all this misery is not poverty but a ridiculous excess of wealth. This wealth in the hands of few individuals, organisations and countries compels them to put this wealth to earn more wealth by deploying it as loans to others.

To get the world hooked on borrowing, we are made to feel inadequate about ourselves and our situation. Our GDP has to zoom, we must have this and we must have that. As aspirations rise by leaps and bounds while our ability to pay for them are restricted, we are compelled to borrow.

Not only individuals and families fall in this debt trap, many organisations, and all countries fall in this debt trap, spending money they do not have to get things they want but do not need. Then borrowing more money to pay the interest. Modern slaves are not in chains they are in debt.

Baron Rothschild a member of the wealthiest family in the world is supposed to have remarked, at a dinner party, "I can't name the Seven Wonders of the World,  but I can tell you that the Eighth Wonder is compound interest.”

'Compound Interest' is the accumulation of interest to the principal amount repeatedly on money borrowed. So by compounding the interest at a rate of 7% per year the amount invested doubles every 10 years. Or as in many developing countries where the interest rate of 18% per year the money returnable is doubled every 4 years.

The wealthy need to use their wealth to earn even more, and the way is lend it to earn more money by the compounding of interest on loans. It is because of the this the world of finance has come to dominate all aspects of human existence. This is why the people at the head of private banks, funds, and financial trading are paid obscene amounts by their employers.

This driving force that creeps and consumes humanity is compound interest. Debt is this cold and ruthless creature if not kept contained or limited slowly creeps and consumes the world.

From the lenders point of view, the beauty of lending money is that the lender can go about doing what they want while the meter of interest grows and compounds continuously, every second, night or day. In fact debt gnaws at the innards of its host the borrowers, eventually consuming all of humanity and the world.

When Napoleon had the concept of compound interest explained to him, he exclaimed: “I wonder, it has not swallowed the world.”


When 10% of the world wealthy have 80% of  the wealth, it creates an imbalance and everything in modern society and economic policy is designed to not only conserve but enhance this.

Numerous revolutions, religions and ideologies have failed to change this situation of human self destruction.
This is because we try to use the same thinking, philosophy, institutions and social order to solve the problem which itself we have created.

Throughout history, great spiritual and philosophical masters have come, warning us humans of our foolish and excessive ways. But we are so smart hat we have even converted them and their messages into instruments of increasing our wealth and power. Now God is sold as religion. Love, friendship, compassion, and our intrinsic nature itself are all being traded and sold.

Driven to despair many of us drown ourselves in alcohol and drugs, violence and plunder, and those who cannot escape by these means indulge ourselves in a frenzy of entertainment, and acquisition of things and relationships. It seems we are doomed to remain unfulfilled and unhappy.

Some of the materially wealthy seek escape by unburdening ourselves, we donate all ur possessions, to institutes of religion education,  government and social organisations. But our name must be there on the foundation stone and plaques. We trade cash for the wealth of a name in a memorial.

We try a number of ways to escape. To the hills, and wilderness, to the seas  and the desert, to monasteries and to therapy. Nothing helps because at the core of our being our nature remains unchanged.

To live with dignity one needs wealth, and relationships, but how much?
I have discovered to my surprise, that when I stopped exploiting things and relationships, seeking neither power nor wealth, I have become liberated, grown happier and more peaceful.

Please, hold my hand.

Many years ago, a friend shared an anecdote with me. Which I now recall every 'Father's day'.

A little girl was walking along a path with her father, when they came to a rickety and treacherous bridge. Instinctively the father stretched out his hand to his daughter and said; "Here, take my hand."

The daughter replied; "No father, you please hold my hand."

The father was confused, "What is the difference, whether you hold my hand or I hold yours?"

The little girl smilingly said, "If I hold your hand and stumble, I may let go of your hand, but if you hold my hand I know you will never ever let me fall."

________________

Living in Dubai at that time, I telephoned my late father from who I had become estranged, to hear his voice and to tell him I loved him. We both wept as I expressed my gratefulness  for the countless blessings that he had bestowed upon me. Asked him, to forgive me for the pain I had caused him. Finally, my desire to be with him, especially on that Father's day.

Somewhere along the way, when we tasted the fruits of material success we forgot an important fact. Our achievements were the result not only of our labour but also the investment in, care, protection, values, love, wisdom, etc. provided by our teachers and parents. 

Protected by the shield of our parents love and blessings, their spiritual energies merging into ours we experienced success and happiness.

Youth normally tends to be arrogant. When combined with success and wealth, youth grows impudent. Without meaning to nor realising it, we offended and disrespected our parents with our dismissive manner and reckless choice of words.

Success, fame and wealth makes us believe that the love and blessings of parents is superfluous, and hence we squander this fortune. 

When we began ignoring their love and disregarded the importance of their blessings,  we soon found ourselves engulfed by a tsunami of problems and misfortune.

For several years I wandered in material, emotional and spiritual wilderness. 

Fortunately, with the Guru's grace, and the support of my wife Mohini and our two young sons, I was and transformed for the better. I returned to the open arms and heart of my parents.

Maybe it's a coincidence, but thereafter my life blossomed once again. I was materially poorer, but emotionally and spiritually richer. Living in the present, I am  free of want and fear.

There is a reason that in India, often father is described as 'Ana-Data' the same term used for God (provider). If we care to look beyond the human failings and at the sublime, we will catch a glimpse of the Creator.

Fathers tend to be obstinate and difficult. They are impossible to fathom, often embarrassing and exasperating us. 

Still, like a noble emperor with a big yet humble heart, love and respect them. As sure as the seasons follow one another, one day each one of us will also thirst for love and understanding.

Actually, Everyday is 'Fathers Day'

______________________

Charlie Chaplin and the Experts

             

Charlie Chaplin (1889 - 1977) is considered a great humanitarian and one of the most important persons in the history of film making. He loved to entertain himself and people.

In 1975 Charlie Chaplin, decided to enter a Charlie Chaplin look alike contest held in France. His entry was amongst one of many entrants.

                                                     

Well, what do you know? The experts on the panel of judges placed Charlie Chaplin third.

This incident begs the question, 'Who is an expert?' 

An expert is defined as someone who is knowledgable or skilful in a particular area. 

When we perceive someone as an expert, its usually because they demonstrate confidence, in what they say or do.

What if the person doesn't really have that knowledge or skill but pretends to have it.  Obviously we will be fooled and feel sorry for ourselves. 

That is why we often discover that,

Often, an expert is someone who is never in doubt but frequently in error.

                                     

We ourselves, know our situation, problem or needs better than anyone else. Therefore we are best poised to find and implement solutions to our problems.

Spending time alone to look within myself, I have often been able to find answers to doubts and and solutions to challenges.

But we do not trust ourselves. We have grown so distant from ourselves that we rarely look within ourselves for answers. We would rather trust a stranger believing them to be experts.

Maybe its a good idea to take off time to be alone with ourselves at least once a day. One will be surprised by the focus, energy and positiveness it brings into one's life. 

Sure, we will make mistakes, but its useful to remember that, all success is based on failures and setbacks.

Interesting speech by Charlie Chaplin - Final Speech from The Great Dictator  - YouTube

Way we see things

We often ask, why can't they see the obvious.
What is obvious to us, is not necessarily obvious to others. 

A man is usually stretched between two women, both who who desire to monopolise him. The mother and the wife. The affection they have for the man is of different types, but yet he must belong to them both. Both women are right but not entirely.

This is because we recognise things, events, relationships and experiences through the window and filter of our mind. We like to believe that we exist in the reality but in fact we exist within a reality. We exist within a reality  created by our own mind. It is a reality created by our own minds with us at the very centre of our universe.

Everyone's centre and hence universe and therefore our reality differs. Great communicators seek to step out of their own realities and seek to place themselves in the hearts and minds of the other. 
All great souls and minds, have this ability to empathise. They may not agree with our reality, but at least they understand and accommodate the other.

Many families and organisations break up because the members and leaders do not take the effort to inculcate this way of understanding. No great endeavour can be achieved and sustained without this great quality of empathy.

Why this happens, will be the subject of another article.

_____________________________

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From my seminar on 'Effective Communication & Conversation'

To remain happy in marriage

In courtship we take great effort to please the partner. Each partner to win over the  affection and respect of the other, makes an effort to be interesting, thoughtful, and usually on his or her best  behaviour. Most often we put on an act suppressing our natural impulses.

We try very hard to live the unrealistic romantic dream, as depicted in romantic television serials, movies, novels, songs, poems, etc.. When we take our marriage vows, we expect that life would be a dreamy fairy tale. 

Most discover that love may be blind but marriage is an eye opener.

Marriage jolts people because we believe that once we have acquired the partner, we can stop pretending. The reality may still be beautiful but we become unhappy because we think the partner has changed, whereas the partner has just reverted to being his or her normal self.

Is the reality bad or are the expectations unrealistic? 

Each individual is a unique and strange creature, who the other partner wishes to mould as per their expectations. Nothing disappoints us more than unfulfilled expectations.

It is the nature of the human being to, favour what we do not have over what we already possess. That is why we remain in awe of people we cannot possess. 

Anyone who is worth possessing simply cannot be possessed. We can choose to accept others as they are or be unhappy.

Each one of us is a unique and strange creature but that itself is our beauty. To accept that strangeness rather than trying to reform people to conform to our expectations is a key to happiness.

Typically men marry, thinking women will never change, but they do. Women believe the man will change, but men never change.

To remain happy, see goodness and beauty in the other, while understanding the flaws in one self. Give more than we demand just as we did during courtship and we have a very good chance of being happy as individuals  and as couples.

_____________

Excerpts from my upcoming book - 'Finding Success and Happiness' 

Contact:

Telephone: +91 957 951 0353

Email: Guru Wonder

About Guru Wonder:

Blog - Website - Facebook - Twitter - linkedin - SikhNet

Don't stop being engaged

_____________

Excerpts from my upcoming book - 'Finding Success and Happiness' 

Contact:

Telephone: +91 957 951 0353

Email: Guru Wonder

About Guru Wonder:

Blog - Website - Facebook - Twitter - linkedin - SikhNet

Life without you

One day, some time ago, my wife, Mohini, struggled with trying to open a jar without success. Then she requested me to assist her.
I opened it in a jiffy.

Then with a flourish, I handed it back to her saying, "What will you do without me?"
She replied,  "Who wants to live without you?"

I leant that day, that, 

Success is getting what you want, and happiness is wanting what you have got.

Marriage and partnerships are some of the most difficult social tests we humans have to encounter. 

Outcomes can be of several shades. 

At the bottom are negatives which are feelings of disdain, hatred, tolerance and worst feeling is indifference. 

At the top are positive results which include acceptance, desire, joy and if very lucky bliss. 

• To see faults in others is natural.
• To see goodness in strangers is a blessing.
• To see goodness in a spouse or partner is a bloody miracle.

Behind every successful man is ........

It is often said that, 'Behind every successful man is a woman'. It would be more appropriate to say that, 'Behind every successful man is a surprised woman'.

Normally the woman behind the man, is his wife. Without even being briefed, intuitively a woman knows a lot, if not almost everything about her man.

A man, needs a place to return to, rest and recuperate. Feeling secure within his own home, man tends to lower his guard and social pretences and usually reverts to being just himself. That is the issue, because the man that reverts to being his natural self at home, is a unique and often imperfect creature.



All men are imperfect, only types and levels of imperfection vary. Flaws include vanity, ego, greed, lust, and many other human traits. Obsessed with people and things man is full of eccentricities, fetishes, strange fears, etc. This is exactly what his woman sees.

What women rarely get to see or learn of, is that her man who pursues some form of work/career or professional responsibility, is typically pretty good at what he does, and often well appreciated and respected for it by colleagues and society at large.

Since this is normally not  visible to his woman, she can rarely appreciate his professional competence, and capabilities.


Man generally need props to define himself socially and professionally. Props could include vehicles, associates, designations, size of his workplace , his computer and work tools or perhaps a title or even a crown. 


This creature called man, at home and in his lair, with his guard down, often looks and behaves clumsy and incomplete.  This is the creature that the woman sees. Can she be blamed for being surprised if her man is successful?

Man it appears, is the master of the circus by day, and the clown by night.

The reflective individual

It is dawn now at the Ashram of Sant Baba Ishwar Singh ji on the outskirt of Dehradun. Rising each morning at 4 am I join the morning meditation and prayer at 4:30. followed by a couple of hours of silent contemplation before breakfast. The ashram provides a perfect place for rejuvenation.


An ashram literally means a sheltered abode. A shelter need not be only of the physical kind that protects the body. A true shelter envelopes also the mind and the spirit, allowing the individual to connect with the life giving energy of the cosmos. Known by numerous names this life force normally called God has to be experienced not learnt.


Only where there is love, friendship, peace and understanding can a house become a home. Similarly an ashram comes alive with the presence of a living Guru. The presence of the teacher/ master called Guru provides the recharging energy and wisdom at the ashram.


Visiting a mere structure has little meaning and acts more like a spiritual placebo, providing a superficial feeling of goodness which soon vanishes leaving the soul and the inner person untouched.


At the ashram my tensions ebb away as I sit here and contemplate and observe the monsoon fury which is so easily absorbed by the forest at whose edge the ashram is nestled.


Pursuing people and things, we are so busy in our daily lives experiencing love, hate, greed, lust etc. Yet we learn almost nothing from our experiences unless we reflect (look back and review) and analyse whatever happens.




Genuinely happy and successful people are often spiritually strong for they are in touch with their inner self. To connect with their inner being, they look inwards and reflect. It is however difficult to reflect on our experiences with the constant and omnipresent din of our social environment. We need a getaway place.


The quest for a getaway is initially a physical place, but we soon learn that it fulfills only a small part of our craving. The fortunate ones learn that the getaway is a spiritual place and within our own very being.


This spiritual place can be found within us but for which a living master is required. This master called a Guru leads people to discover their own inner space. This is the place where we hear, see, and feel not only ourselves but the entire creation. Peace, joy and understanding come to the reflective mind and spirit.


The first part of our spiritual journey takes us only to the inner space where we reflect. This reflection is useful if it is evaluated appropriately. Our reflection is tested against our values acquired from our parents, teachers and society at large. Much of this is material and some of it spiritual.


Like a beacon of light the Guru's teachings illuminates a way forward, helping the individual to choose between right and wrong. The Guru provides the precious touchstone for making the right choice.


It is helpful that each night before we fall asleep and review in a few minutes the entire day like one watches a movie. Reflecting on what transpired, one can judge what should have been done or said rather than what actually took place. This provides the seed for  corrective actions in future words and deeds. 



Truly reflective people exists simultaneously on two planes. They interact physically on the social plane yet their spirit and  mind operates at a higher plane making them happier and enabling them to be more  successful.

Future India - lessons from Flies & Bees.

Behavioural scientists had conducted an experiment wherein a dozen bees were introduced into an empty jam bottle placed horizontally and without the lid. They then placed a bright light outside but near the closed (bottom) end of the jar. Being logical creatures they attempted to go direct to the light in a logical manner eventually dying from exhaustion and starvation.

However houseflies when introduced into the jar escaped within a few minutes. An analogy can be drawn when referring to people and cultures. 

---

Bees build complex and productive colonies whereas flies do not.

History reveals that colonialists like the Europeans, and North Americans  are logical, extremely systematic and highly disciplined  much like the bees. The conquered and colonised nations such as India which are like the flies, apparently illogical, unsystematic and highly undisciplined. Even today organisations within these countries also behave in very much the same manner.

The bees come together, surrender much of their individual freedoms in favour of a larger good of the colony and attempt to leverage each other’s strengths to  build for the betterment of all. There is more meaningful social and work collaboration. They are often proactive and take the long term view.

The flies are individualistic and concerned only with themselves. They hustle for their survival. They live in the present and are reactive in nature. They are street smart and know how to ignore or break rules, take shortcuts and somehow using ‘jugad’ (meaning fixes) to get what they want. They may not achieve a lot but it will enough to see them get by.

In any group endeavour structured and systematic work is essential.  That is why the developed economies all were able to industrialise and colonise the world.

Initially they ruled by their industrial-military might  and  nowadays increasingly by their technological,  military,  financial and political might. They have leveraged individual strengths multiplying them manifold to produce powerful juggernauts.

Organisations and governments within countries like India may have high intelligence, rich culture and history are individualistic and self centred like the flies. Energy and efforts are dissipated and rarely able to achieve critical levels where they can become sustainable world leaders. 

The underdeveloped nations who have been mainly nomadic or agrarian countries / regions merely exited, managing  somehow to survive.  They surrendered before the organised force of the bees, the might of the organised armies of the industrially advanced nations. Eventually  Indians permitted their  own aspirations, needs and necessities to be made subservient to their colonial and industrial masters.

 Is it any wonder why the world’s largest and most powerful corporations are in the Industrially developed world? A majority of the people there work for a large corporation or the government. They collaborate to develop innovate products and services, and hence succeed in conquering new markets and social space.

Similarly this could explain why there are so few Indian organisations of world class calibre and domination. Here majority work for themselves or in their own family business. The flies are happy with themselves.  Many bees do exist in India but the general pattern is that the vast majority of Indians are fly like in their conduct.

The future now hinges increasingly on knowledge, but applied in innovative ways and often involving a multi disciplinary approach.  One can observe  interesting developments that are unfolding in the world and in India.  

Nations and organisations  in the developed countries are struggling to become more innovative flexible and fly like. However they are unable to shrug off many of the bee like behaviour and characteristics which are cramping innovation.  The Japanese and the Europeans in particular appear deeply frustrated because they find their social DNA difficult to change as a result of their obsession with maintaining their so called ‘purity’.  

The most powerful approach is the flexibility and nimbleness of the fly, coupled with the discipline, structure and team commitment of the bees. This is evident from the fact that  America, Canada, Australia and the UK achieved higher growth rates and prosperity because of the open door policy which encourages constant and continuous influx of flies and new bees.

This cultural cross pollination often produce super-flies and super-bees, drawing on the stability and power of the bee colony with a fly like individuality to soon achieve remarkable success.

Flies will be flies but they can become super-flies with a blending of fly nature and bee discipline. Sadly instead of understanding and appreciating their individuality and fly strength, Indian political, business and educational leaders blindly copy and try to make flies behave like bees with frustrating results. Our education system based on memorising data and parroting them continue to produce  people who are good only at answering questions rather than asking them.  As a result Indians  have generally been unable to leverage their inherent fly like skill by adopting the organising capabilities and many strength characteristics of the bees.  The result may be of high growth but it lacks depth and sustainability.

The industrially developed nations are deconstructing large parts of their massive industrial infrastructure because they are neither environmentally or economically sustainable. The smart ones are not merely focussing on end results, they have understood thoroughly the processes involved in conduct of their business and governance. Many companies are shifting their design  and also manufacturing centres to Asia and in a significant manner to India.  This massive shift is happening in spite of the frustrations especially for the Japanese and the Europeans who find fly behaviour quite alien.

Many smart bees adapted and are conquering the Indian economic landscape. Ripples are turning into  waves.  Companies and institutions within the Indian economy are increasingly owned by entities from the developed world with an Indian face and merely have Indians working for them. Strong organisations owned by Indians will become increasingly  rare with many Indian businessmen shifting their wealth to investments into secondary and passive areas such as real estate, commodities, and stock markets and distribution services etc.

Take a Look at the insurance and financial sector, where ICICI Bank & HDFC Bank which are 66% and 74% respectively are foreign owned. The cement sector is predominantly owned by the French and Europeans. The wave has already started in takeover of the automotive, Automotive components, pharmaceuticals, infrastructure and soon it will be retailing, medical and hospitality sectors, defence etc. The stock exchanges and commodity exchanges are increasingly coming under the control of foreigners. Even benefits from bumper crops and yields will not pass on to the common Indian but to the commodity traders. 

The developed countries will have the queen bee and her core loyal assistants headquartered in their home countries but they will colonise the developing world.

This may not be necessarily bad for the Indian economy and the average Indian, who will receive better products and services. However this trend will thwart the development of a strong Indian political and economical leadership. While at home the industrial economies that have failed to shift to knowledge based work are facing increasing wrath of the deindustrialised citizens.

How can Indians can transform into super flies/bees incorporating the best of both organisms? 

For this to happen Indians have to;

1.       Take the initiative and evolve solutions by themselves or in collaboration with other like-minded entities.  They have to stop expecting the government to find the solutions. After all governments by their very nature are overbearing,  inept and often disconnected from reality.

2.       Invest significantly in developing knowledge and skills of their people, and further build capacity to impart that knowledge that they impart to their people.  Unfortunately too much attention is paid only to hardware as this is the visible part of investment, whereas the focus has to be on building good systems by focussing on the business processes. ( This does not mean merely ‘ERP’or Enterprise Resource Planning  systems)

3.       Overhaul the approach to education and dramatically change curriculum and learning to make it more relevant to the present and the future needs. They have to invest in the design and implementation of the education of their children, employees and associates in their homes and at their workplaces

___________________________________________________

The reader will inevitably ask about; "what about China?"

That interesting question my friends will have to be taken up separately in another follow up article.

SIMS Students, welcome to the real world.

Student life can be fascinating. If you were a real student you should have learnt about various subjects , about yourselves and the world around you, then you are ready for the real world.

The real world is however quite different from student life and more demanding.
People will not always be logical, polite or kind. Unless your parents own the organisation where you will work, most often the rule is that as a fresh joiner and intern you can expected to be treated rather impatiently and often impolitely.

Getting a job these days is not difficult, however whether you will be successful, happy or satisfied is debatable. Even in a recession most employers complain of not being able to get and retain good people. It is your choice whether you want to be recognised as good or just another 'has been'.

Here are some tips that should make your career journey smoother, more meaningful and likely to project you as a winner.

• Perception lasts longer than fact. Your reputation will make or break you. Your reputation will come from your conduct and more important from your ability to deliver results.


• Never argue with others, particularly your boss on basis of opinions. Facts are difficult to dispute where as it is easy to dismiss an opinion.


• I believe in the philosophy “Do not say , show. Do not claim, prove”.


• It is more important to be respected than to be liked.


• When two people agree on everything one of them is useless. When two people disagree on everything then both of them are useless.


• Your education never ends, you must constantly learn, unlearn and relearn. So keep your old books, acquire new ones and stay up to date. Remember a well educated person should know something about most things and everything about something.


• Try to work for and with people with whom you share similar values. It does not mean you will not have disagreements, it just helps you to resolve differences quicker and understand each other.


• If you seek career and personal development and progress, you must win the trust of your colleagues and particularly your boss. Trust comes from trust worthy actions.


• We Indians are the world’s leaders in making excuses for non performance. Success needs no explanation and failure tolerates no excuses. In today’s challenging and competitive world performance talks and failure walks.
  

If you want to have a meaningful career and personal life it might help to look at the story of the pickle bottle and two cups of tea.

The Pickle Bottle.
When things in your life seem, almost too much to handle,
When 24 Hours in a day is not enough,
Remember the pickle bottle and 2 cups of tea.

A professor once stood before his class of students who were about to graduate
When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty pickle bottle and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students, if the bottle was full.
They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the bottle. He shook the bottle lightly.
The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.
He then asked the students again if the bottle was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the bottle.
Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
He asked once more if the bottle was full. The students responded with a unanimous ‘yes.’

The professor then produced two cups of tea from under the table and poured the entire contents into the bottle, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

‘Now,’ said the professor, as the laughter subsided,
‘I want you to recognize that this bottle represents your life.
The golf balls are the important things - family, children, health, Friends, and favourite passions
Things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, Your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, house, and car.
The sand is everything else –The small stuff.

‘If you put the sand into the jar first,’ He continued, there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

So…

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
‘Take care of the golf balls first - The things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.’

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the tea represented.

The professor smiled. ‘I’m glad you asked’.
It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a cup of tea with a friend.’

This article is written by Gurvinder Singh for the SIMC student website at the request of Mr. Mohan Sinha.