Insatiable people

People are generally difficult to please. 
Seeking more for less, is a natural human trait. However, there is a group of insatiable people for whom more is never enough.

Who are these insatiable people? 
Generally speaking you can never fully satisfy, Customers, Boss, Parents, Teachers and Wife.




No matter what you do, this group of people  keep driving you to do more, supposedly to progress and to become excellent. Progress and excellence however, are not goals, they are philosophies, a way of thinking and performing. No one is excellent so we are constantly and bluntly reminded of our imperfections and the need to do more.


This is how it works. They set you some goals or ask you to perform a task often disguised as a request.
Off you go and surprisingly even achieve it, feeling pretty good about yourself. The insatiable will inevitably let you know that your performance was  ok, but you need to do better. 

I have waited all my life for acknowledgement, if not appreciation from people in this category, and after 58 years, I am still waiting. These are the people who kept moving the goalposts, further away whenever I reach them.


The customer wants his rupee to travel further, he wants more value  for what he pays. However value has no upper limit. When is value enough? So they ask for better prices, better quality, shorter deliveries, harder, softer, sweeter, more personalised attention, more variety, less variety, .............. etc.




Bosses are people who are experts on everything and because they pay a salary, they believe they own people.  Things are made more challenging for employees, because most of the time the bosses themselves are clueless on what they want or need.

Some bosses are born, some achieve bossiness and some bosses are thrust on others. Merit is surprisingly often ignored, in the journey of people to becoming bosses,  stealth and cunning are more at work.

Many juniors wonder, like the tortoise on a post, "How the hell did he or she get there?" 



Staying on top is difficult, a boss needs to perform. If bosses get competent subordinates they spend sleepless nights because they might lose out to their juniors. If they surround themselves with inept 'yes men' they cannot perform. Can you blame the boss for being nervous and dissatisfied?

(Good bosses are rare and studies show that 72% of people are willing to take pay cuts if someone would change the boss.)





Parents try their hardest to achieve their dreams through the children. They could take a cue from Khalil Gibran who wrote, **"Children come through you, yet they belong not to you".**

Parents have a great investment in their children and like any good investor they want their investment to perform well.  Successful children are expected to provide higher social standing for parents, which seems to be terribly important to parents.

Parents love their children so much that they will do anything for their children, except let them be themselves.

_____________________________

There are good and their bad teachers. Good teachers are inevitably insatiable.
They choose their students and disciples and then drive them to the edge, almost.
They are probably the purest of the insatiable people.


A wife is an enigma. Even great and successful men have problems in meeting the expectations of the wife. Men are rarely able to decipher what the woman actually means or wants. 

The wife want her man to succeed, but rarely know what needs to be done. She knows that nagging and criticising the man will move him. Unfortunately all movement is not progress.

Maybe the reason why there are more successful men then women, is that women do not have wives.


Insatiable people usually drive us, some positively and other destructively. The mistake they often make is in their belief that they own the person. One can own own things but you cannot own people. Even a slave, you can own his body but never his heart and mind. 

Ownership or possession kills the spirit of the individual. Pushing people results in resentment and poor performance over time. 

On the other hand those who excite people, and get them into believing in themselves are happier and more effective. Resulting in self motivated,  proactive, contented people who are and usually more positive and successful.

My father and Uncle and many of my teachers are long gone. I have new customers and the same wife, but the music is the same. 

I grumble about these insatiable people, but thank God they were and some still there. For I would have been a lesser person without them.

Obnoxious People.

Abraham Lincoln that great man, who had risen from humble background to become the President of America once said, "All men respond well under adversity, if you want to test a man's character  give him power"

No wonder people who come to possess some power over resources or people tend to become obnoxious. Bosses, class teachers, principals, politicians, government officials and of course office bearers are more prone to being obnoxious, because they feel, 'You need me, I don't need you.'

Power, it has often be said, corrupts. But this is not true. Power amplifies our personality. Therefore, power makes good people great, and bad people worse..

Life is beautiful and People are inherently good But there are always aberrations in nature like obnoxious people and they tend to be both toxic and ugly.

It is normal for people to sometimes disagree, but obnoxious people are disagreeable.

Over the past year residents of our housing society have had the misfortune of having to deal with an obnoxious man. He was an office bearer and an obstructionist in our daily lives, He could not be avoided, he was like a millstone hanging around our neck. His intelligence only made him vicious and insufferable. Most residents in the housing society, detested the man.


All attempts by residents to engage with the man were futile. Decency and polite behaviour were misconstrued as weakness and timidity. Residents were at their wits end, until they got the following message from a wise man.

All attempts by residents to engage with the man were futile. Decency and polite behaviour were misconstrued as weakness and timidity. Residents were at their wits end, until realisation dawned that, "Dealing with obnoxious people is like wrestling with a pig in the mud. After some time you realize that you are getting physically and mentally exhausted, but the pig is actually enjoying it."

When we interact with people we create a relationship, and in turn the relationship defines us. We absorb the energy and traits of the people we associate with. If we do not want to become horrid and disgusting we should give negative people a wide berth and ignore them completely. If interaction is unavoidable then try not to let them drag you down to their level, respond rather than react to them.

It is said, 'Beware the fury of patient people'. In a rare show of consensus many residents agreed on one point. In a noisy meeting, residents insisted that the obnoxious man would not be allowed to continue in office a moment longer.  He was booed and summarily thrown out.

Those  who  act too wise, inevitably land up otherwise.

Hurry up, dear chap!

  

 When my boss phoned me today, he asked,

"Is everything okay at the office?"

I said, "Yes, it's all under control.

It's been a very busy day, I haven't stopped for a minute."

"Can you do me a favour then?" he asked.

I said, "Of course, anything!

What is it?"

He said, "Then hurry up and .......................

.......................take your shot....

I'm right behind you..... .........on the 7th hole."

My Thanks to Dr. Surjit Patheja for this hilarious piece.

A great boss.

My wife and I were watching the grand and surprisingly good inauguration of the Common Wealth Games on the third of October. The crowd was enthusiastic and the mood was jubilant.
Prince Charles of Great Britain was heartily welcomed. Political leaders and various dignitaries received varying degrees of appreciation by way of cheer and applause. The crowd however reserved their greatest cheer with many standing up to applaud when the name of a particular individual was announced.

I recall a story narrated by my friend Tushar Parekh about this great person. This article illuminates one of the numerous reasons why he is considered great and so deserving of the love and respect he always receives.

________________________________________

A Great Boss . . .

There were about 70 scientists working hectically and tirelessly on a very demanding project.

All the scientists were extremely frustrated by the demanding pressure of work and the high standards of their boss. They complained but yet they persevered, for their boss possessed something mystical about him. Loyal to him and excited by the vision he showed them,  they could not even conceive of quitting their jobs.

One day, a scientist came to his boss and told him - "Sir, I have promised to my children to take them to the exhibition going on in town". "I want to leave the office at 5 30 pm."
His boss replied "Sure, if it's important to you, you need to go home at 5.30, it's alright".

The scientist resumed work immediately, eager to complete the next phase of his work at the earliest. As usual he got so involved with his work that he lost all track of time. Just as he was completing the work for the day he glanced at his watch, it read almost 8.30 pm.

He looked forward to getting home and spending time with his lovely children. He was aghast for he suddenly remembered his promise to the children. He searched for his boss, who was almost the last to leave, but could not find him.

Well, he had already informed his boss that he would leave early so he closed everything up and departed for his home.

He felt a great pang of guilt, he had let his children down, gain. He was sure they would be disappointed.With great trepidation he entered his home.

The children were not there, and his wife alone was sitting in the living room reading a magazine. He knew from past experience that any excuse could only boomerang on him and make the situation worse. He braced himself for a severe tongue lashing.

His wife smilingly asked him "Would you like to have coffee or shall I serve dinner if you are hungry?”
The man replied "I would love to have a cup of coffee if you are getting yourself one too" "Where are the children?" he queried
Wife seemed surprised "You don't know ?? Your boss came here at 5.15 pm and took the children to the exhibition."


This is what had really happened ..

At 4.45 pm the boss noticed the scientist deeply engrossed in his work. He knew from his experience that the work could not be competed in time to permit him to leave for home early as planned.

"Such devotion to work by the scientist cannot be a cause of unhappiness for the children", thought the boss. "The children must visit and enjoy the exhibition they longed for and promised by their father."

So he took the children to the exhibition.

Now more than ever there is bad trend of pampering employees. Bribery never works to build good individuals, teams or great organisations. The leader need not be a nanny, but does demonstrate leadership in umpteen ways.

Good leaders knows how to get the best out of their people. A good leader considers the team members and followers subjectively as people not objectively as a mere resources, or things with just a number.

Winning the hearts of people is a necessary element of any collective effort. Winning the minds is an essential requirement, particularly in endeavours requiring intelligence, to deliver the extra zing to produce superior outcomes.

That is why all the scientists at Thumba continued to work with great success under their boss even though the demands made from them were seemingly impossible.

The boss was none other than Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam, Former-President of India.

Foot in Mouth Disease?

My friend Seema calls me an expert. My chest always puffed up with pride, until one day she shared with me her definition of an 'expert'.
An expert is someone who is never in doubt but frequently in error!!

I realised a little late in the day that she was merely being polite for an ailment which can be labelled as 'foot in mouth' disease.

Upon this great realisation, I was curious to determine if I belonged to a small group or a larger community that had been afflicted with this malady. I am glad to inform you that this problem is quite common but lays dormant until triggered by any of the following phenomena;

A powerful trigger for turning into an expert is to get elected to office. Does not matter which office, any office will do. Even getting elected to the management committee of a housing society or your local club will bestow upon you the crown of all knowledge.

Some acquire money, some are born with it, and some have it thrust upon them. Wealth thrusts people into the world of experts. It does not matter whether it was plundered , earned, or acquired in the old fashioned way, that is to inherit it, the person is instantly transformed into an expert.

The third way to become an expert is to become the boss of some poor creatures at work. The boss knows everything.

The fastest and most certain way to gain expertise is of course to get married. You will immediately acquire an expert. Whether this makes your life better is questionable, but it will certainly make it interesting, at least for a while.

Last but no less powerful and all pervasive mother of all expert sources is to become a parent. No one knows better than a parent. As the quote goes "You may fool some people all the time, you may fool all the people some of the time but you can never fool Mom." Parents apparently wear the crown of all knowledge.

Before you begin to feel sorry for all these different types of experts and the great burden they have to bear in the upliftment of mere mortals you may want to review the mumblings or should I say bumblings of some other great experts;

• We don't need you. You haven't got through college yet. -
  Hewlett Packard excuse to Steve Jobs, who founded Apple Computers instead.


• I think there's a world market for about maybe five computers. -
  Thomas J. Watson, chairman of the board of IBM


• Everything that can be invented has been invented.
  Charles H. Duell, Office of Patents, 1899


• 640K memory for a computer ought to be enough for anybody -
  Bill Gates, Microsoft, 1981


• There will never be a bigger plane built. - A Boeing Engineer, after the first flight of the 247, a twin engine plane that carried ten people.


• Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value. -
  Marechal Ferdinand, Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de Guerre.


• We don't like their sound. Groups of guitars are on the way out. -
  Decca Executive, 1962, after turning down the Beatles


• There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home. -
  Ken Olson, president of Digital Equipment Corp. 1977


• This telephone has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. - Western Union, memo, 1876


• No imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
  David Sarnoff's associates in response to his urging investment in the radio in the 1920's


• Who wants to hear actors talk? -
  H.M. Warner, Warner Brothers, 1927


• While theoretically and technically television may be feasible, commercially and financially it is an impossibility. -
  Lee DeForest, inventor


• Radio has no future. Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible. X-rays will prove to be a hoax.
  Lord Kelvin English scientist, 1899 ( William Thomson)