Joy at the end of the world

Deep in the Ecuadorian wilderness at an altitude of 2,600 mtrs ((8530 ft) above sea level precariously perched atop a treehouse 'Casa del Arbol' is a is a seismic monitoring station. It's location is perfect for seismologists to observe and keep a tab on Mt. Tungurahua, the nearby active volcano and warn others in the region in case of any danger.

While the treehouse itself is a sight to behold, the real attraction is the swing hanging from one of the tree’s skinny branches appropriately called 'Swing at the End of the World'

With only a lonely seat belt to hold you in, the swing set up by a whimsical seismologist arcs riders out into the air over the seemingly bottomless canyon.

If one wants to experience the feeling of joy, and excitement of existing at the very end of the world, then the swing at Casa del Arbol, near Banos in Ecuador might just be the place.

Should the active volcano Mt. Tungurahua in whose shadow sits Casa del Arbol, erupt then one will witness the city of Baños being engulfed in lava.

If instead of erupting should the volcano explode then the Casa del Árbol too would be engulfed in lava. From this perspective, a visit to this swing will definitely feel like the end of the world for the swingers. But what a ride that would be?

The swing at Casa del Arbol only goes to remind us that there is a possibility of happiness, joy and excitement everywhere for everyone.

 Interesting links:

• The Swing of Casa Del Arbol, Ecuador ~ Amusing Planet
• A swing to dangle you off the very edge. - Casa del Arbol, Ecuador ~ Atlas Obscura
• Swing At The End Of The World ~ Wanderbus Ecuador
   

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Where the women are loved

 

Nowadays one sometimes reads about incidents in India of mistreatment and disrespect of women, and that can never be condoned. However just like a few trees do not define a forest, an aberration does not define a civilisation.

Contrary to common belief, in India, as in most agrarian societies the Goddess the provider of all things, as mother nature, has always been revered. In such societies the female has always been respected, loved and worshipped. Hindu and later Sikh tradition have always honoured women with the highest status of which women are rightly deserving.

Somewhere along the way, this valuable lesson which kept man and nature in harmony got disturbed. Influence of patriarchal and alien religions and cultures industrialisation, urbanisation etc. amongst other causes has taught man that nature and hence females are to be exploited for man's convenience and pleasure. Exploitation can never bring honour, dignity or love, only submission and resentment.

Our salvation and lasting joy can come only by loving and cherishing nature, which is manifested in the female.

Culture is shaped by both tradition and historical influences, and provides us many valuable lessons. Love, trust, and respect can never be legislated, or taught. Respect for women can only be instilled in the hearts and minds of our children by the example of elders and parents in every household.

It is not possible to impose values like respect, love and trust upon individuals, nor can it be taught in classrooms. Though this  is often attempted by the government, media, priests, schools, and civil society with little or no benefit except to enhance their own grandeur and power.

I can share what I have learnt.

If you are a man attempt not to understand them, rather try to cherish and respect the women in your life. If you are a woman, then accept them as imperfect yet honour, respect and care for the men in your life. If we do this the days of our life will be wholesome, because divine energies will reside along with us.

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* The Manu-Smriti, also known as Manav Dharam Shastra, is the earliest work on Brahminical Dharma in Hinduism. Manu-Smriti is believed to be the word of Brahma, the Creator and it is classified as the most authoritative statement on Dharma.

The scripture consists of 2690 verses, divided into 12 chapters.  It is presumed that the actual human  author of this compilation used the eponym ‘Manu’, which has led the text to be associated by Hindus with the first human being and the first king in the Indian tradition.

‘Political Correctness’ screws up life.

 

'Political Correctness' specifies what is considered as the appropriate way for members of society to dress, speak, and behave both in private and in public.

Power within every society or organisation is always concentrated in the hands of a small minority. This is why Political Correctness, has remained the most powerful weapon used by political and religious leaders and their forces to control the majority of the members of society.

A culture can be defined by its Political Correctness. Generally the greater the demand for correctness, the greater is the control of political and religious forces on the lives of members of society.

The best way for political and religious leaders to retain control over members of society is to impose as many restrictions as is possible on the people, particularly women. Why the great emphasis on control of women? This is because when one controls the man, one tends to control an individual, but when one controls a woman one can usually control an entire family.

One should view with great suspicion people and self proclaimed leaders who demand political correctness, for with these demands they have begun to impose dictatorial control over our lives.

Political Correctness has always been around, and imposed through followers of organised religion. It it has become prominent only recently with the increase in production, and distribution of news, information and entertainment through various media channels. It has also become a very powerful tool in conditioning of youngsters within educational institutions. 

Political correctness appears as a reasonable restriction or demand on behaviour and the use of particular language, but in reality it is an attempt to muzzle thought.

One of the greatest victims of political correctness is humour and comedy. Laughter and happiness are defining features of human existence irrespective of culture. A society that cannot laugh freely is a dead or dying society. Only a free and living society can laugh with abandon, and only an evolved human being can laugh at himself or herself.

"Against the onslaught of humour, no force can withstand" ~ Mark Twain.

Have you laughed or been able to speak what you think and believe yesterday?

If not, then you may have already been politically corrected.

The difference between Success and Happiness

 

It is easy to get confused between success and happiness, often mistaking them be similar.

'Success' is getting what we want.

'Happiness' is wanting what we have got.

Success is a product of striving, and every striving is a journey. Journeying is like excellence, we never really arrive, for beyond each peak we conquer, another stands awaiting conquest.

Happiness on the other hand, is a state of being, it only needs an awakening, and a realisation.

In spite of the individual possessing the capacity and potential to be happy, we rarely permit ourselves the privilege of being happy. This is because Man the individual subordinates himself to Man the social creature and is thus doomed to be unhappy.

Constant criticism of and dissatisfaction with what we have by the individual trying to live to the standards and expectations of others and of society at large, finds it difficult if not  almost impossible to be happy. 

Happiness flowers within us, when we let go of expectations, and simply wallow in existence.

A first step is an appreciation of, and gratitude for what we are and what we have.

Who we are, will emerge in due course of time.

Happiness is most visible during the stage of childhood. Where innocence envelops us. The child unperturbed by the past and unconcerned about the future lives in the present.  That is why children are happy just enjoying the passage of time. 

This characteristic of children is worth emulating, while we teach our children about life, they are teaching us what life is all about.

The folly of seeking happiness in the 'Rat Race'

 

Ever wondered what is this 'Rat Race'? 

Well this video provides a good idea. Many of us can relate to this depiction for the answer.

We run in the race because of FOMO (fear of missing out).

How can we escape the Rat Race?

Simple. Don't run in the race. 

We can escape if we focus on our needs rather than wants, because our needs are limited, whereas our wants are infinite.

Our inner being speaks to us, telling us what really appeals to us, suits us and what does not. 

Most elements in society tell us how inadequate or incomplete we re because we are lacking this or that. So we pursue what we are told is appealing rather than what is genuinely appealing to us. 

If we follow our heart and take the mind with us, we can escape the 'Rat Race'.

The 'Rat Race' can only hold the promise of success. Success however is external to our being so we have to look for it outside. Happiness is inherent within us, it only has to be realised from within our being. 

Rich or poor, the 'Rat Race' cannot deliver happiness.  More money, power or success does not mean more health and happiness. They just help to buy a better quality of unhappiness. If we examine carefully we will notice that the rich are comfortably unhappy and the poor are uncomfortably unhappy. 

Live simply, eat moderately, love intensely, work and play passionately is a good mantra for living outside the 'Rat Race'.

Please, hold my hand.

Many years ago, a friend shared an anecdote with me. Which I now recall every 'Father's day'.

A little girl was walking along a path with her father, when they came to a rickety and treacherous bridge. Instinctively the father stretched out his hand to his daughter and said; "Here, take my hand."

The daughter replied; "No father, you please hold my hand."

The father was confused, "What is the difference, whether you hold my hand or I hold yours?"

The little girl smilingly said, "If I hold your hand and stumble, I may let go of your hand, but if you hold my hand I know you will never ever let me fall."

________________

Living in Dubai at that time, I telephoned my late father from who I had become estranged, to hear his voice and to tell him I loved him. We both wept as I expressed my gratefulness  for the countless blessings that he had bestowed upon me. Asked him, to forgive me for the pain I had caused him. Finally, my desire to be with him, especially on that Father's day.

Somewhere along the way, when we tasted the fruits of material success we forgot an important fact. Our achievements were the result not only of our labour but also the investment in, care, protection, values, love, wisdom, etc. provided by our teachers and parents. 

Protected by the shield of our parents love and blessings, their spiritual energies merging into ours we experienced success and happiness.

Youth normally tends to be arrogant. When combined with success and wealth, youth grows impudent. Without meaning to nor realising it, we offended and disrespected our parents with our dismissive manner and reckless choice of words.

Success, fame and wealth makes us believe that the love and blessings of parents is superfluous, and hence we squander this fortune. 

When we began ignoring their love and disregarded the importance of their blessings,  we soon found ourselves engulfed by a tsunami of problems and misfortune.

For several years I wandered in material, emotional and spiritual wilderness. 

Fortunately, with the Guru's grace, and the support of my wife Mohini and our two young sons, I was and transformed for the better. I returned to the open arms and heart of my parents.

Maybe it's a coincidence, but thereafter my life blossomed once again. I was materially poorer, but emotionally and spiritually richer. Living in the present, I am  free of want and fear.

There is a reason that in India, often father is described as 'Ana-Data' the same term used for God (provider). If we care to look beyond the human failings and at the sublime, we will catch a glimpse of the Creator.

Fathers tend to be obstinate and difficult. They are impossible to fathom, often embarrassing and exasperating us. 

Still, like a noble emperor with a big yet humble heart, love and respect them. As sure as the seasons follow one another, one day each one of us will also thirst for love and understanding.

Actually, Everyday is 'Fathers Day'

______________________

First known image of Michael Phelps.- (Humour)

Biography of Michael Phelps

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To remain happy in marriage

In courtship we take great effort to please the partner. Each partner to win over the  affection and respect of the other, makes an effort to be interesting, thoughtful, and usually on his or her best  behaviour. Most often we put on an act suppressing our natural impulses.

We try very hard to live the unrealistic romantic dream, as depicted in romantic television serials, movies, novels, songs, poems, etc.. When we take our marriage vows, we expect that life would be a dreamy fairy tale. 

Most discover that love may be blind but marriage is an eye opener.

Marriage jolts people because we believe that once we have acquired the partner, we can stop pretending. The reality may still be beautiful but we become unhappy because we think the partner has changed, whereas the partner has just reverted to being his or her normal self.

Is the reality bad or are the expectations unrealistic? 

Each individual is a unique and strange creature, who the other partner wishes to mould as per their expectations. Nothing disappoints us more than unfulfilled expectations.

It is the nature of the human being to, favour what we do not have over what we already possess. That is why we remain in awe of people we cannot possess. 

Anyone who is worth possessing simply cannot be possessed. We can choose to accept others as they are or be unhappy.

Each one of us is a unique and strange creature but that itself is our beauty. To accept that strangeness rather than trying to reform people to conform to our expectations is a key to happiness.

Typically men marry, thinking women will never change, but they do. Women believe the man will change, but men never change.

To remain happy, see goodness and beauty in the other, while understanding the flaws in one self. Give more than we demand just as we did during courtship and we have a very good chance of being happy as individuals  and as couples.

_____________

Excerpts from my upcoming book - 'Finding Success and Happiness' 

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Don't stop being engaged

_____________

Excerpts from my upcoming book - 'Finding Success and Happiness' 

Contact:

Telephone: +91 957 951 0353

Email: Guru Wonder

About Guru Wonder:

Blog - Website - Facebook - Twitter - linkedin - SikhNet

Life without you

One day, some time ago, my wife, Mohini, struggled with trying to open a jar without success. Then she requested me to assist her.
I opened it in a jiffy.

Then with a flourish, I handed it back to her saying, "What will you do without me?"
She replied,  "Who wants to live without you?"

I leant that day, that, 

Success is getting what you want, and happiness is wanting what you have got.

Marriage and partnerships are some of the most difficult social tests we humans have to encounter. 

Outcomes can be of several shades. 

At the bottom are negatives which are feelings of disdain, hatred, tolerance and worst feeling is indifference. 

At the top are positive results which include acceptance, desire, joy and if very lucky bliss. 

• To see faults in others is natural.
• To see goodness in strangers is a blessing.
• To see goodness in a spouse or partner is a bloody miracle.

Who are we?

A friend who is highly sensitive to praise and criticism wanted to get away, 'Just go away from the madding crowd' she said. So away she went to the Himalayas, returning two weeks later looking worse than when she left.

On quizzing her I learnt that her problems and concerns accompanied her. She could not stop thinking about what what people were talking about her. We have put our happiness and peace of mind in the hands of others for their opinions shape our beliefs about ourselves.

Most of us live our lives in differing shades of this same situation.


"You do not have your own face, you  have only opinions of others about you. Somebody says you are beautiful and you start to think you are beautiful. Somebody says you are ugly, and you feel hurt and you carry a wound that someone says you are 'ugly' - you have become ugly.

You are just an accumulation of the opinion of others, you do not know who you are. You know only what others think you are. And this is strange, because those others who think who you are don't know themselves. - they know themselves through you. This is a beautiful game: I know myself through you, you know yourself through me and we both don't know who we are."

                                                                                     - Osho  

These shoes make me so happy

Once in Delhi I spent a night at a friends home. Meeting after 15 years we had a lot of catching up to do.

Late into the night we chatted. As we relaxed, my friend pulled off his shoes with a moan and a groan. He heaved a sigh of relief as the shoes finally came off, and he muttered " Man! these shoes are so tight they really hurt"

I was baffled and I asked,"why don't you wear shoes that are comfortable and a slightly larger size?"

With a strange expression he said, "You won't understand, but these shoes make me so happy. My work is terrible, my employees are robbing me blind, my customers refuse to pay their bills,  my friends let me down and no one including my family loves me." "When I come home and take off these damn! tight shoes, I feel great relief and this is probably the only joy I get and the only happiness I can induce in my life" 

My friend was always melodramatic, however there is always some truth in every bit of humour. 

It appears that finding happiness is more elusive than avoiding unhappiness. Permit me to share with you some thoughts on avoiding unhappiness.

_________________________________

Unhappiness normally stems from unfulfilled expectations.  

Expectations are of two kinds, one that is a favour and the other is a duty.  As regards the latter one one should always exercise one's rights and demand that people perform their duty.


However one should always be mentally prepared for the worst case scenario that nothing is going to transpire as expected, particularly when asking for favours. (The government and it's officers of our country do believe that they need not perform their duty, but merely bestow favours on us citizens)  


Having low expectations, forces us to be develop alternative solutions and be more self reliant. When things do happen as desired, we are pleasantly surprised and delighted. If nothing happens we can always say "I knew it, nothing would happen". 

Secondly, It's useful to avoid certain people or at least minimize contact with them. 

Trying to get ahead in life we try to associate with people that will benefit us materially and maybe that is not a bad thing. It is however essential that we listen to our inner voice, our 'gut feeling' and our conscience. If everything looks good but there is a voice in our being that gnaws at us that it does not feel right, it is quite likely that we will be sorry sooner or later. We must learn to trust our instincts and intuition.

Thirdly, avoid irritating things in our life. 

Identify the things that we frequently use, starting with our private space. Our bedroom, the bed, the pillow, the linen should be to our liking, because that is where we will spend a third of our life. Well rested in an environment of our liking will refresh us and make us less likely to be unhappy. 

Personal effects of  clothing, footwear, crockery, transport vehicle and our work tools be it a pen, computer, office bag, tool kit etc., or whatever is our tools of the trade should be of good quality and reliable. Nothing makes life worse than using rotten hardware and software tools to do our job.

Fourth, pursuing an appropriate career. 

If self employed, then try to choose a profession or business we like or are comfortable with. Working for an individual  or an organisation try to work for a person or organisation that has a belief system which we can respect.  Nothing is more stressful than having to work with people we have little respect for or worse taking orders from people we despise. If we hate the work we do, we  will become bitter and not only will this negative energy hurt others it will corrode us from within.

Fifth, avoid irritating people.

Though not always possible, avoiding people that trouble us or try to engage us in behaviour that is irritating is a good way to avoid unhappiness and related stress. Road rage is a good example of when people try to fight with us, a perfectly convenient way is to simply not make eye contact with the enraged driver, and try not to acknowledge their presence. Violent people need us to acknowledge them before they attack, so being indifferent to them takes the fun out of bullying for them.

In conclusion,  I must admit that this article is written mainly for people who can exercise free choice. Unfortunately there are billions of people who are prisoners of their environments, trapped by families, employers, governments, warlords, gangsters etc.  I pray that one day they too can have the ability and courage to exercise free choice and the wisdom to make the right choice.

If we are good and follow our heart, carry little negative emotional baggage,  keep life simple and seek joy instead of mere excitement, then happiness is within our grasp.

Charitable and Happy

I often met Prakash when I go for my walks. A decent chap, he has rather unusual opinions on most matters because of which he and I often land up sparring. Our passionate debates on a wide range of topics sometimes provide me with interesting and alternate perspectives.

The government had just announced another steep hike in the already absurd fuel prices. A group of us sipped tea and complained like all good but impotent citizens. We bemoaned the declining standards of morals and character and the surging costs of living. Someone commented that the government actions would only increase the numbers of the poor and they would be hard pressed to make ends meet.

Prakash then made a statement which almost killed all conversation. "Who is to say who is  poor? Many of these beggars are just to lazy to work and find it easier to beg for a living. In addition many  of those who claim they are poor are not even worthy of helping for they are  aggressive and rude. I will never give anything to a beggar again, they do not deserve the charity they receive for they are ungrateful" he said in tone of finality.

After a minute of silence in our conversation, I asked him why was he so agitated.

It seemed that whenever Prakash tried to be charitable, he always had an unpleasant experience. He narrated his previous day's experience.

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Prakash's wife Chanda is deeply religious. She visits the temple everyday. She offers prayers and then gives alms and food to the poor who invariably congregate outside such places.  

Prakash the dutiful husband always accompanies her driving her to the temple and back. One day unable to find parking space, Prakash happily volunteered to stay in the car while Chanda went for her daily appointment with God.

Lost in thought Prakash was soon jarred out of his reverie by a persistent tapping on his elbow. A middle aged woman stretched her palm out at him, begging. Prakash had received some good news the previous evening and felt expansive. He dropped ten rupees into the outstretched hand.  The lady looked blankly at Prakash and said, "I am hungry, give me more."


At that time 10 rupees was enough to have a working meal. An astonished and upset Prakash flew into a rage. He ticked the woman off and she in return cussed and  hobbled off with a scowl on her face. 

That was the incident that a visibly upset Prakash shared with us. He said "instead of being grateful the horrible woman abused me."

I felt sorry, but could not figure out for whom. An example of a charitable act, resulting not in joy but in disgust.


I asked Prakash whether he expected anything in return for his act of charity 
"Of course!" he said, "I expected a smile, some  acknowledgement maybe even a blessing, but the woman  .. she was simply horrible"

While professional expectations heightens our performance and therefore important, the opposite applies in our personal life. Expectations from love, friendship, parenthood, service, prayer, charity etc. almost always disappoint. This is because with every expectation comes the seed of a disappointment, that of unfulfilled expectations.

This is why our elders used to say, "Do good and forget about it" I have learnt that lesson long ago, I hope Prakash will do so too in the near future.



This habit of mine of analyzing everything and reflecting on various encounters and interactions compelled me to think about charity and giving. Here are some thoughts which I share with you.

We can give of our possessions, but greater still is to give of ourselves our time mind and heart.

What goes around comes around. Have we not be given much? So why do we hesitate to give?  

Have we not yet learnt that nothing is really ours? Neither this wealth nor these relationships, not even this body is ours for long.  A day will come when all that we possess will be taken away from us. Is everything not transient and temporary?

In our materialistic world we are always doing deals, forever transacting business in give and take selfish relationships. This could possibly be the root cause of much of our unhappiness.

Unhappiness is caused by unfulfilled expectations. So to be happy we must either be able to fulfill our expectations or have no expectations. To be happy in giving, one must make the choice what to give and how to give it and then unconditionally give with no expectations of some glory, benefit or profit.

Our well may be small but it is likely to be full. Yet when we hoard the water, is it not a thirst that is unquenchable? Let us not be like King Midas who had so much gold but remained hungry and unhappy.

Would it not be wise and noble if we ask nothing in return for our charity and assistance, for our love and our friendship? I believe we would be happier and maybe even carefree. Let us stop demanding to own the souls of people we help and love. Let us not burden people with the crushing weight of our charity.



If you really want the biggest bang for your charity work, just try and give and expect nothing in return. 

Try it. Give truly unconditionally and 
experience how your spirit will soar to the heavens, for you would no more be a human, but an angel.