Cross examining a grandma can be dangerous

Lawyers should never ask tough grand mother a question if they aren't prepared for the answer. In a trial, a small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand.

He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realise you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."



The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defence attorney?"
She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."
The defence attorney almost died.

The judge asked both counsellors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the electric chair."

Smile

Most of my friends and all of my family believe me to be eccentric, like a billionaire just without the billions. Come to think of it, the world can be an amazing place if you are a bit eccentric.

The gift of life is so fascinating that it can be regarded as one giant laboratory. Everyday presents numerous opportunities to increase both my knowledge and appreciation of people.

I love life and all that it offers. Maybe that is why it is easy for me to smile and laugh. I often smile at strangers sitting in their cars and bikes stuck in traffic or at traffic signals. Here is what I discovered.

Most people and I connect for a few seconds and a smile grows on their faces, sometimes we exchange greetings, or even have a very brief conversation.

Probably being more relaxed, passengers tend to be more interactive than drivers.

Toddlers and young children are the most receptive and invariably smile back. They continue to gawk, smile and wave until I move out of sight.

Youngsters between 10 to 20 years of age are most reluctant to respond. They mostly look at me with the expression "I know people like you, who try to be friendly but are actually dangerous". This I attribute, to loss of innocence. They have begun to learn that the world is far from ideal and most adults cannot be trusted.

Young adults and middle aged people are too preoccupied chasing tasks and problems in their lives to acknowledge the existence of humanity and life. They are mostly dismissive, because if you are being nice to them, you probably want something therefore you can't be of any consequence.

The elderly are glad that their existence is acknowledged. Sometimes they get confused but most often they beam a smile, and are most chatty.

Officials of all kinds and people in expensive vehicles usually have a scowl on their face. They invariably have a frown and almost always give me that look that says, "What in hell, is the matter with you?" I can't get it.  had money and power why do they appear unhappy?

Here are some quotes on smile.

• A smile is a curve that straightens things out.
• A smile is the shortest distance between two hearts.
• It takes 6 muscles to smile and 120 muscles to frown.
• It is easy to conceal your grief but impossible to hide one's joy, a sign of a happy spirit.

The end of my experiments always leaves me with more questions than when I started. Maybe I am a lousy researcher, but who cares? I am celebrating life.

I realise that, I am not a human on a spiritual journey but a spirit on a human journey.

Keep Smiling

Clueless

Thought for the day :

There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. 

This means that by 2040, there will be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them..