Please, keep us near

Mohini and I spent this new year eve staying at home to look after our grandson and each other. A visit to the Gurudwara (Sikh temple), followed by a quiet dinner and a surprise visit by our friends Anupam and Priya.

As we grey, we spend half the time looking back and reminiscing. We recalled a new year we celebrated 16 years ago.

"Dad, I want to welcome the new year in with you and mom. Can we come with you to the party you are going with your friends on new years eve?" asked our son Mohit. He was 15 and our younger son Pavit was 13 at that time.

"Of course not", I retorted. "You better go along with your friends, that is who you should be spending your new year time with." 

I simply ignored Mohit's sad and crest fallen look. I was making a man out of my son, he had to learn to be strong and independent. In fact, I felt damn proud of myself as I left for work.

That evening Mohini my wife asked, "What did you say  to Mohit? Why can't the boys come with us? I have spoken to our friends, they are quite comfortable if our boys come with us to the dinner and dance. Please let them come."

"No my decision is made and please don't argue with me", I said curtly.

"Do you know what your son said? Do you have any idea what is going on in that young boy's mind and heart?"

"Don't make a sissy out of him", I scolded her.

She made me sit down and explained to me as a woman often has to explain to her man the eldest child in her family. " He says, mom , very soon I will be busy, with my friends in college and then my professional studies in Engineering,  my working career will dominate and marriage thereafter.  We have only these few years remaining,  that we can four spend real quality time together. I want to spend it with you both so that I can relish it all my life.  This is why I want us to be with you both. We will never have this time again. So please keep us close to you, while you can."

My macho arrogance had blinded me and had stolen my empathy and love. It had made me both senseless and heartless. Could I not have had the same conversation with my son as Mohini had? Why had I failed to hear and feel what he so dearly felt?

Tears welled in my eyes and I wanted to kick myself. How could I make it up to them? I went to his room and their he sat reading a book. He said, "Mom explained everything to me. Dad it's ok, that you cannot take us with you. You and mom have a great time. Pavit and I  will just chill out at home and watch TV."

I walked up to him, stood him up from his chair and embraced him real tight, and kissed him on his forehead. I said, "I am sorry, I refused you in the morning. On second thought, it will be a great idea if you came with us."

We all went together, the four of us, to the new year party. We sang and we danced, and we laughed until our stomachs ached. We then danced and laughed a lot more.. It was a fabulous, unforgettable fun filled evening.

Our sons have grown up and are now married, and Mohit is a father now. Everything has happened almost exactly as he foresaw it. 

With the onset of adulthood, intensity levels and differences in preference are more dramatic. This is only natural. We don't go to many functions or parties together with our children anymore. They devote more time at work,  devote quality time to to their wives, and are comfortable with their friends. 

Nowadays when the six of us do go out together, we still laugh a lot, but it is somewhat different. The love is strong, and that magic is still there, but it is not so overpowering anymore. Not so intense and definitely less insane. 

Foot in Mouth Disease?

My friend Seema calls me an expert. My chest always puffed up with pride, until one day she shared with me her definition of an 'expert'.
An expert is someone who is never in doubt but frequently in error!!

I realised a little late in the day that she was merely being polite for an ailment which can be labelled as 'foot in mouth' disease.

Upon this great realisation, I was curious to determine if I belonged to a small group or a larger community that had been afflicted with this malady. I am glad to inform you that this problem is quite common but lays dormant until triggered by any of the following phenomena;

A powerful trigger for turning into an expert is to get elected to office. Does not matter which office, any office will do. Even getting elected to the management committee of a housing society or your local club will bestow upon you the crown of all knowledge.

Some acquire money, some are born with it, and some have it thrust upon them. Wealth thrusts people into the world of experts. It does not matter whether it was plundered , earned, or acquired in the old fashioned way, that is to inherit it, the person is instantly transformed into an expert.

The third way to become an expert is to become the boss of some poor creatures at work. The boss knows everything.

The fastest and most certain way to gain expertise is of course to get married. You will immediately acquire an expert. Whether this makes your life better is questionable, but it will certainly make it interesting, at least for a while.

Last but no less powerful and all pervasive mother of all expert sources is to become a parent. No one knows better than a parent. As the quote goes "You may fool some people all the time, you may fool all the people some of the time but you can never fool Mom." Parents apparently wear the crown of all knowledge.

Before you begin to feel sorry for all these different types of experts and the great burden they have to bear in the upliftment of mere mortals you may want to review the mumblings or should I say bumblings of some other great experts;

• We don't need you. You haven't got through college yet. -
  Hewlett Packard excuse to Steve Jobs, who founded Apple Computers instead.


• I think there's a world market for about maybe five computers. -
  Thomas J. Watson, chairman of the board of IBM


• Everything that can be invented has been invented.
  Charles H. Duell, Office of Patents, 1899


• 640K memory for a computer ought to be enough for anybody -
  Bill Gates, Microsoft, 1981


• There will never be a bigger plane built. - A Boeing Engineer, after the first flight of the 247, a twin engine plane that carried ten people.


• Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value. -
  Marechal Ferdinand, Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de Guerre.


• We don't like their sound. Groups of guitars are on the way out. -
  Decca Executive, 1962, after turning down the Beatles


• There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home. -
  Ken Olson, president of Digital Equipment Corp. 1977


• This telephone has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. - Western Union, memo, 1876


• No imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
  David Sarnoff's associates in response to his urging investment in the radio in the 1920's


• Who wants to hear actors talk? -
  H.M. Warner, Warner Brothers, 1927


• While theoretically and technically television may be feasible, commercially and financially it is an impossibility. -
  Lee DeForest, inventor


• Radio has no future. Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible. X-rays will prove to be a hoax.
  Lord Kelvin English scientist, 1899 ( William Thomson)