December leads in breakups

December Leads Year In Breakups, But Lags in Promotions, Weddings, Divorces

December is probably the most exciting month of the year, but other than the retail sector going crazy, how does December really measure up to some other months?

For example, December is not the best month for relationships. The most popular day when boyfriend/girlfriend call it quits is the Monday closest to two weeks before Christmas, according to a Facebook graphics posted by blogcritics.org.

That day was yesterday, December 12. If you weren’t dumped, you are doing good.

Why? Perhaps the stress of Christmas approaching leads to a boiling point in relationships.

Perhaps the coming of the New Year motivates people to make a new start. Or, perhaps it is as simple as not wanting to spend money on a Christmas gift. Very few are cruel enough to dump someone on or immediately before Christmas, so this can force somebody as hand to do it about two weeks before, concludes blogcritics.

December is also not the best time of the year to get a promotion.

According to data collected and analyzed by LinkedIn, January, June and July are the most popular months for U.S. workers to receive promotions. Globally, January, July and September are the top three.
January represents the new calendar year, while in June and July evaluations are being conducted. Bosses like to wrap things up before leaving on vacation in August, and if they don at, then those in line to be promoted will have to wait until September, according to LinkedIn.

And if you want to get married, June is the most popular month. That as when the start of moderate temperatures and reasonable outdoor weather begins in many corners of the globe.

Also, a wider and cheaper array of flowers are available, according to bridetide.blogspot.com.

But cheap flowers are not the major reason why June is so popular for weddings. It as tradition.

Back in the day, couples often chose to marry in accordance to their peak harvest time. Having a June wedding meant that a possible summer pregnancy would still be early enough in the season that a wife could help out with manual work during that year as harvest period. It also meant that after a spring birth, the recovered bride would be in good enough health to assist in the next year as harvest, according to Bridetide.

Here is my favorite reason.

A long time ago, regular bathing was not exactly considered a necessity and was therefore reserved as a once-a-year event that most of the population observed during the last part of May or beginning of June. As expected, right after their annual bath,  many couples decided to tie the knot since each person was probably their most presentable (and less stinky) during this time compared to the upcoming 12 months.

August is the most popular month for giving birth, according to lifeslittlemysteries.com, although all summer months rank pretty close in this category. February ranks the lowest.

Experts theorize that the timing has a lot to do with weather conditions nine months earlier. Go figure.
As the mercury drops in the late fall and winter, things heat up at home as people spend more time indoors. About nine months later, a summer baby is born. Makes perfect sense.

Cold, dark January may be a good month for promotions, but it as a bad month for marriages.

That is when most divorces are filed.

Perhaps January is a popular time to divorce, says YourTango.com, because the December holidays can be a time where emotions run high, leaving people to become angry or unhappy with their marriage. Just after the holiday season, many people might feel that divorce is their best option.

There you have it, a small cycle of human civilization. Enjoy the holiday season, make it through Dec. 12, and watch out for January, unless you are up for a promotion

John Toth publishes The Bulletin weekly newspaper in Brazoria County, Texas. He was an award-winning writer for The Houston Chronicle until he decided to leave all that serious stuff behind for a chance to participate in high risk business ventures like publishing a weekly, which he has done since 1994. He can be reached atjohn.bulletin@gmail.com

Fire at AMRI hospital

Early this morning on the eighth of December a terrible fire broke out at the AMRI hospital in Kolkata. As the senior staff  fled,  89 persons lost their lives and many more were seriously injured, all of them patients. No later had the media broadcast the news that political damage control and finger pointing began.


As of now;

• Two owners and four managers have been arrested, and they will be released shortly on bail. 
• The hospital cannot function practically and legally because the government has cancelled its licensee.
• A compensation of Rs 50,000 has been awarded to survivors of the deceased. The hospital's junior staff and the  ill equipped brave firemen who risked their lives doing a very tough job are being blamed for a bad job and responding too slowly.
• TV anchors  shed crocodile tears as will be their hosts on the talk shows.

Tomorrow;

• The factories inspector will make a report showing that he did his job as will the concerned fire inspector. 
• The concerned municipal officers in charge will move some files and reports here and there trying to pass the buck, and some junior person will be suspended. 
• The newspapers will blare this tragedy on their headlines. 
• The politicians will start a one up-manship game.

The day after;

• Wheels of corruption will turn.
• The owners and managers will look to influence by monetary or political pressure, the police, the concerned legal persons from the government, the victims families. 
• Various vultures political and others will descend on the situation sensing a good killing to be made. 
• Money will change hands and the situation will quieten down.
• The TV stations will suffer amnesia.
• The newspaper will relegate the incident to history after taking it sequentially through pages, 5, 9 and finally page 16.

Six months later;

• The hospital will be restarted under a new name and management with old owners having new politically powerful partners.
• The owners will start a new hospital flouting the rules.
• The suspended officials will be reinstated and the case will join the million other cases pending in our judiciary.

This is not how a modern civilized society functions, this is how a sad joke is played on citizens by their chosen political leaders, civil servants, police and merchants of death.
Each one of us has every right to feel indignant, angry and sad. Since we are normally mute spectators or participants in small ways we have no one to blame but ourselves. We play our own little games of trying to get ahead by manipulating or ignoring the system by;

• Just being indifferent.
• Refusing to exercise our voting franchise or voting for bad /corrupt people. 
• Bribing bureaucrats and government officials rather than follow the correct way.
• Teaching our children all the wrong things or by setting poor examples of behaviour.
• Give up hope of exerting our right and cower in front of two bit tyrannic public servants.
• Do not contribute to our communities and humanity in general, remembering all our rights but forgetting most of our responsibilities. 

If we want to make a difference then we should remember that;

A different world cannot be built by indifferent people; 

and    

As we sow, so shall we reap. 

Not a devil's workshop

DEVIL'S WORKSHOP?

http://rainysingh.blogspot.com/2011/12/not-devils-workshop.html

My office overlooks a school. This location provides me ample opportunity to observe children in an environment, which to me appears to need much change.  Children are happy, no matter what we adults impose on them. Their energy, mischief and zest, is infectious and never fails to perk me up.

Feelings of despair envelope me on the other hand when I observe how we invest in our future. The kid’s backs are stooped as they carry their overweight school bags. There are no sports or play area to speak off and the children try to run about in the small courtyard and on the semi covered rooftop for a brief while before they dragged inside to memorize something more. 

I sometimes chat with some of the kids as they wait for their ride.  I learn that most of them are not going back home but to some tuitions / classes and even more study. Children naturally want to play, but sadly their wants or needs are not a consideration for most educationists, parents, or the government.

Most kids get home a little too late in the evening and then they spend time in front of a television set or some video games before they are marched off to sleep much later in the night than they should.

Our current schooling system was born from the needs of industrialization a few hundred years ago.  Further pushed by priests and governments to keep their flock timid and busy at all times children were managed by the motto  'An empty mind is a devil's workshop'. Nothing could be more sad or further from the truth.

Industrialization as undertaken so far is mostly based on maximum exploitation of resources. This approach demands that the majority of people and employees should have facts and not thoughts. They must possess a compliant spirit to take orders and not independence and of course having fun at work or during learning is deemed dangerous. This approach deadens the mind rather than enlightening it. 

As a result many children do not get a moment free, and this suits parents and teachers just fine. Many parents and teachers are anyway absorbed in their own genuine or imaginary issues and struggles.    

I spent almost my entire childhood in a boarding school, and my youth living in college hostels.  The institutions were set in quiet places and free of many of today's distractions.  I had encountered my share of fantastic teachers and petty tyrants. The curriculum was not killing because we did not have so much drivel. Sports were encouraged along with extra curricular activities that helped build character and develop the personality.

One thing many of my friends now look back with incredibility is the amount of time we had on our hands, to do, really nothing.  These were times for fantasizing, and to spend in wonder. The space, and time afforded us the luxury to daydream, to study ourselves and the world around us as we experienced it and the world we wanted to create.

What differentiates humans from lower species is our overdeveloped mind. Our current social and education system clutters the mind, stifling our thoughts and not allowing the mind to breathe. When the mind is overfilled with facts and figures even temporarily, it knocks off large chunks of creativity. 

The end result of this education-lifestyle combination is the output of generations of a well informed, non creative, mentally and physically weak people.

When you live for more than half a century it can be advantageous  to be able to look back and study cause and effects of various actions and inactions. I classify my associates and classmates into four categories;

1.       First the sloggers, they always worked hard and they still slog at their careers and in  their lives.  Un-lived they are often overworked and overstressed. They believe they are avoiding the devil's workshop.

2.      Bums, these folks never did anything then and decades later still pretty much do nothing very useful even today.

3.      Negative achievers who day dreamt and fantasized about the future. Driven by negative influences at home and from their choice of friends and associates they went on to notoriety and often burnt out. 

4.      Positive achievers who continue to achieve success. These folks are often not only generating wealth but also do interesting things. They lead useful and generally more fulfilling lives. Contributing to society many of these people daydreamed away but were guided by a good value system and worked hard applying both mind and spirit. Most of them participated in sport and extra curricular activities

Let's give our kids space and a good value system and just watch them create an interesting, healthy, happy, caring and successful world. 

Pablo Picasso the famous artist said;   "Every child is born an artist, the problem is staying an artist when you grow up" 

A wise man once said; "If you do not build castles in the air, you build them nowhere". 

Interesting thoughts on this subject can also be found at the following two blogs;

·      http://sureshg.wordpress.com/2006/08/18/what-is-meditation/

·      http://odyssey2self-sumiran.blogspot.com/2009/06/empty-mind-is-it-devils-workshop.html

When society is doomed.

When you know that in order to produce, you need to obtain permission from men who produce nothing; 


When you see that money is flowing to those who deal not in goods but in favours; 


when you see that men get rich more easily by graft rather than by work, 


and your laws no longer protect you against them but protect them against you

......  you know that your society is doomed 

                                      - Ayn Rand ( Author - Atlas Shrugged)

How old is your son?

Kind and  helpful my friend Dr. Anil Lamba is also a brilliant teacher.  Author and producer of a range of educational courses particularly on finance, he often weaves stories into his program to illuminate a view.

Reproduced here is a real life incident he narrated during a program I attended.
Once while traveling by train Anil's co-passengers included a couple and their little son.

Midway through the journey the ticket checker  came and began verifying the tickets of the passengers. He checked the tickets of this young family. They had two adult tickets for themselves and a half fare ticket for their boy.

The checker smiled at the boy enquired from the father "Your son is handsome, how old is he?'

The father replied; "he is seven."

After the checker left, another co-passenger remarked, "You know  your son is rather small built for his age.  He does not look like he is seven.  You could have easily passed him off as a five year old or younger. No one would have known any better and you could have avoided spending money on his ticket ."  (Children below the age of five need not buy a ticket)

The father smiled and said "You are right, no one else would know, but my son would know. That my dear Sir, is something I prefer not to teach my son."


Those who want to know more about Dr. Anil Lamba can visit www.lamconschool.com

May I have your autograph?

It was two years ago when our son Pavit was in Mumbai and dropped in  at the Bharat Petroleum pump on Bandra Linking road to meet his young uncle Amarprit Sawhney (Amar).  They chatted for a while when they were interrupted by one of the employees. The employee was asking for permission to leave to go to the home of one of legendary Indian cricketer Sachin Tendulkar.

Sachin possessed a Ferrari car gifted to him by the Fiat company for Sachin's outstanding performance in one of the tournaments. The vehicle needed special fuel to operate and this was  supplied by the oil giant Bharat Petroleum (BPCL).  Amar's petrol station is well reputed for its excellent service and efficiency, therefore BPCL had requested Amar to personally take care of the select prestigious clients, such as Sachin Tendulkar.

Amar asked Pavit if he would like to meet Mr. Tendulkar.
Which right thinking youngster n India could turn down such an invitation?

They loaded the special fuel into the vehicle and they set off for Sachin's home.
As luck would have it, while the technician did the check up and pumped the fuel, Sachin strolled out from his house.

After exchanging greetings, they began to chat. Pavit recalls how modest and soft spoken the great cricketer was. They chatted about many things and then Pavit asked Sachin "I would have thought you more comfortable in a Mercedes car rather than in the simple cars parked in your driveway."

Sachin responded "We Tendulkars are simple folks, we believe in simple living." I have been presented with many cars icluding 37 Mercedes cars."
Pavit asked "Thirty seven Mercedes cars? How do you manage so many cars? Where do you fit them?"
Sachin replied " I do not  need to fit them. I have gifted them all to friends and relatives. You cannot believe how happy it made them and how much I enjoyed sharing my things with people I love."

He then offered Pavit to sit in the Ferrari. Pavit was ecstatic with the experience.
After a while as Pavit and Amar  were leaving. Pavit could't resist asking Sachin for an autograph. When Sachin saw that Pavit had nothing to take the autograph on he smiled and said "Wait here, I will be right back."
Sachin returned a few minutes later with a note book pulled out a leaf  and autographed it in front of Pavit.

Gushing with excitement at having met such a great and true man. He called us up at home to share the experience.

When he returned home,  he narrated his experience to us in great detail.  I asked to see the autograph. He sheepishly said "I don't have it, I gave it to a friend."
Mohit his elder brother screamed at him " Are you crazy? Why did you do such a daft thing?"

Pavit said " I learnt many things from Sachin Tendulkar in the short time I was able to spend with him. I gave the autograph to my friend Akhil because it would mean so much to him"

It was another day for us to learn so much more about friendship, modesty and greatness.

Charitable and Happy

I often met Prakash when I go for my walks. A decent chap, he has rather unusual opinions on most matters because of which he and I often land up sparring. Our passionate debates on a wide range of topics sometimes provide me with interesting and alternate perspectives.

The government had just announced another steep hike in the already absurd fuel prices. A group of us sipped tea and complained like all good but impotent citizens. We bemoaned the declining standards of morals and character and the surging costs of living. Someone commented that the government actions would only increase the numbers of the poor and they would be hard pressed to make ends meet.

Prakash then made a statement which almost killed all conversation. "Who is to say who is  poor? Many of these beggars are just to lazy to work and find it easier to beg for a living. In addition many  of those who claim they are poor are not even worthy of helping for they are  aggressive and rude. I will never give anything to a beggar again, they do not deserve the charity they receive for they are ungrateful" he said in tone of finality.

After a minute of silence in our conversation, I asked him why was he so agitated.

It seemed that whenever Prakash tried to be charitable, he always had an unpleasant experience. He narrated his previous day's experience.

__________________________

Prakash's wife Chanda is deeply religious. She visits the temple everyday. She offers prayers and then gives alms and food to the poor who invariably congregate outside such places.  

Prakash the dutiful husband always accompanies her driving her to the temple and back. One day unable to find parking space, Prakash happily volunteered to stay in the car while Chanda went for her daily appointment with God.

Lost in thought Prakash was soon jarred out of his reverie by a persistent tapping on his elbow. A middle aged woman stretched her palm out at him, begging. Prakash had received some good news the previous evening and felt expansive. He dropped ten rupees into the outstretched hand.  The lady looked blankly at Prakash and said, "I am hungry, give me more."


At that time 10 rupees was enough to have a working meal. An astonished and upset Prakash flew into a rage. He ticked the woman off and she in return cussed and  hobbled off with a scowl on her face. 

That was the incident that a visibly upset Prakash shared with us. He said "instead of being grateful the horrible woman abused me."

I felt sorry, but could not figure out for whom. An example of a charitable act, resulting not in joy but in disgust.


I asked Prakash whether he expected anything in return for his act of charity 
"Of course!" he said, "I expected a smile, some  acknowledgement maybe even a blessing, but the woman  .. she was simply horrible"

While professional expectations heightens our performance and therefore important, the opposite applies in our personal life. Expectations from love, friendship, parenthood, service, prayer, charity etc. almost always disappoint. This is because with every expectation comes the seed of a disappointment, that of unfulfilled expectations.

This is why our elders used to say, "Do good and forget about it" I have learnt that lesson long ago, I hope Prakash will do so too in the near future.



This habit of mine of analyzing everything and reflecting on various encounters and interactions compelled me to think about charity and giving. Here are some thoughts which I share with you.

We can give of our possessions, but greater still is to give of ourselves our time mind and heart.

What goes around comes around. Have we not be given much? So why do we hesitate to give?  

Have we not yet learnt that nothing is really ours? Neither this wealth nor these relationships, not even this body is ours for long.  A day will come when all that we possess will be taken away from us. Is everything not transient and temporary?

In our materialistic world we are always doing deals, forever transacting business in give and take selfish relationships. This could possibly be the root cause of much of our unhappiness.

Unhappiness is caused by unfulfilled expectations. So to be happy we must either be able to fulfill our expectations or have no expectations. To be happy in giving, one must make the choice what to give and how to give it and then unconditionally give with no expectations of some glory, benefit or profit.

Our well may be small but it is likely to be full. Yet when we hoard the water, is it not a thirst that is unquenchable? Let us not be like King Midas who had so much gold but remained hungry and unhappy.

Would it not be wise and noble if we ask nothing in return for our charity and assistance, for our love and our friendship? I believe we would be happier and maybe even carefree. Let us stop demanding to own the souls of people we help and love. Let us not burden people with the crushing weight of our charity.



If you really want the biggest bang for your charity work, just try and give and expect nothing in return. 

Try it. Give truly unconditionally and 
experience how your spirit will soar to the heavens, for you would no more be a human, but an angel.

Beware! The genie has been released.

Every child learns about the all powerful genie trapped inside a bottle or lamp. This genie needs a master to release it from the bottle. The master gets his or her one or three wishes and then what?

The genie does not want to return to the bottle and the master cannot force it to return. The genie MUST have purpose or else it becomes a nuisance to itself and to everyone.

We humans are not much different from the genie in the bottle. Most of us have some form of genius within us, but we have to discover it. All great achievements have been the result of the combined effort of unleashing the human intellect and spirit.

Historically this human spirit has been shackled by rulers, governments, family, teachers, priests, society at large. Exploitation mainly by employers has soared greatly since the start of the industrial era. The so called cure of violent trade unionism and misguided political legislation has only made the exploitation worse.  Even so called modern knowledge based work such as teaching and service sectors also generally witness a command and control exploitive approach, often leading to poor outcomes.

The danger with exploitive relationships is that they are not much fun, can be extremely stressful because they are one sided. A seasoned exploiter also develops powerful and often terrible means to perpetuate their exploitive rule. 

Nowadays there is intense competition for everything and resources are increasingly scarce. Centuries of exploitation has lulled people into a stupor and trapped them like the genie in the bottle. Frustrated leaders want people to change to adapt to the new paradigm and deliver more. They blame their people. Entire treasuries have been emptied to get people to perform and yet the results are dismal.

Just like a good harvest can take place only in favourable conditions, humans also need a positive approach to deliver the best of their intellect and spirit.

Most people come to believe that their exploitation is a fact of life and accept it as such, not realizing that each one of us has phenomenal potential once we are unshackled.

I am often asked to assist in motivating people in organisations, families and individuals. I am often successful and in that lies my failure. The people who sought my assistance often cannot manage the energy that is released and eventually everyone is frustrated, unhappy and often very very angry. I have learnt that the human spirit is like a passive volcano which looks harmless and even serene. 

Once motivated and awoken, the volcano begins to erupt, spewing out enormous amounts of lava like energy. If untapped the intense energy of the eruption can cause immense damage.  It requires leaders of skill, wisdom, and purpose to tap this energy towards a worthwhile purpose. 

I am extremely lucky to also work with genuine people. Those who have great and noble aims. These are the people who normally do not try to control the fantastic power of the human spirit but rather seek to channelize it. 

Sadly the problem in a majority of cases is that the master tries to control the genie in an exploitive manner. The genie is now free and very powerful and has to be treated with respect and intelligence. 

If you want change then you must be the first to change. If not then it is best to leave the genie be and continue with your little exploitive games because once released the genie will never return to the bottle.

The problem is that most masters while capable of change refuse to do so, and are often consumed by the spewing lava. Partner with the genie and tap the enormous volcano like energy and you can achieve whatever you sincerely desire. 

The angry elephant has now begun to run free

• Why do powerful elephants tethered by just a a slender chain remain calm, peaceful and productive?
• What allows a relatively puny man to control the giant? 
• Why does the elephant not break free which it can very easily do?

To domesticate and control the fiercest of animals, man breaks the spirit of the animal. The mahout ties the baby elephant up and no amount of resistance or opposition helps.

The calf is also beaten selectively and kept hungry for extended periods. 

At last the calf develops a fearful and submissive attitude towards its master. Any deemed act of opposition will be met with pain and torture. 

The small chain becomes a powerful psychological restraint.  The same technique used by despotic /exploitative rulers and corrupt administrators to break the spirit of the people that they rule or seek to control.

Emasculating the population, autocratic and thus arrogant rulers do pretty much what they want, even so under the guise of a democracy. Sadly this has been the case in India since past five decades.

The problem with corruption and exploitation is that it feeds on itself continuously and always spirals downward and things keep getting worse until something snaps.

Similarly when an elephant has been pushed too hard and is made to work perversely and harder just to enrich its master, its enormous patience gets exhausted. It then rebels against its  own mahout and attacks and kills him and also destroys all those structures and people directly associated with the mahout.

The noose of injustice, bad governance and exploitation by our own leaders and government has been tightening steadily but has now accelerated greatly in the recent past.  The liberalised Indian economy provides great opportunity for the development of our economy but also the perfect way for corrupt people to launder their money and bring it back into India through various front entities.

How else can one explain Mauritius with a current GDP of US$ 8 Billion investing US$ 205 Billion in a decade in India alone? So rampant and insatiable has been the greed of many of our officials and elected representative that it is open and shameless and even considered a badge of honour to be seen to be corrupt.

Like the elephant the people of India have broken their chains. They have rediscovered a true spirit thought to be long broken and dead.

On the proposed Lokpal bill, our cunning political leaders and the arrogant government still see Appu the tame elephant  which can be ignored and at worst be threatened into submission.  

The trumpeting is getting louder by the day as the elephant is walking free and unchallenged in the middle of the city, as yet unsure what to do.

The  Jan Lokpal bill need to be discussed and a broad consensus has to be evolved for an adequate and effective anti corruption solution but ignoring the writing on the wall and showing utter disdain and contempt for the people's popular expression is fraught with grave dangers.  What Anna Hazare has done is, reignited a spirit into the Indian people.  

The elephant has realised just  a bit of its immense power. It must be handled with fairness and respect that it  justifiably demands. The mahout which is the government must realise its folly and make amends and try to win back its elephant. In spite of all the provocation the elephant is merely running free and only showing its displeasure. If the politicians and the government do not respect the elephant and enrage it further, they are in real danger of getting grievously hurt if not mortally, much like the arrogant and foolish mahouts. 

The government has a few draconian laws and also enormous firepower in its police force and its para military. They believe they can bring down the angry elephant. With their finger on the trigger all they are looking is for an excuse to put down the elephant. It is not inconceivable for the politicians to engineer riots, but that may just enrage a giant herd of elephants.

History shows that evil and corrupt rulers look their strongest just before they collapse.