"He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more."
― P.G. Wodehouse
"At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability to handle difficult situations which a man, if he is lucky, manages to achieve somewhere in the later seventies."
― P.G. Wodehouse, Uneasy Money
"There are moments, Jeeves, when one asks oneself, 'Do trousers matter?'"
"The mood will pass, sir."
― P.G. Wodehouse, The Code of the Woosters
"He had the look of one who had drunk the cup of life and found a dead beetle at the bottom."
― P.G. Wodehouse
"I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled."
― P.G. Wodehouse, The Code of the Woosters
"She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say "when". "
― P.G. Wodehouse
"I always advise people never to give advice."
― P.G. Wodehouse
"A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of one who has searched for the leak in life's gas-pipe with a lighted candle."
― P.G. Wodehouse, The Man Upstairs and Other Stories
"There is only one cure for grey hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine."
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It was a confusion of ideas between him and one of the lions he was hunting in Kenya that had caused A. B. Spottsworth to make the obituary column. He thought the lion was dead, and the lion thought it wasn't.
Ring for Jeeves (1953)
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"And she has got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need".______________________
"When I see lovers' names carved on trees, I don't think it's sweet. I only wonder how many people bring a knife on a date "
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My thanks to the fascinating Mr. Ravi VS for this contribution
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