Lexophile

"Lexophile" is a term used to describe those who are clever with words, such as 

"you can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish" , or "to write with a broken pencil is pointless."

A competition to see who can come up with the best lexphillies is held every year in Dubuque, Iowa. The year's winning submissions:

... A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

... The batteries were given out free of charge.

... A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

... A will is a dead giveaway.

... With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

... A boiled egg is hard to beat.

... Police were called to the daycare centre, where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

.. Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

... A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

... The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.

... He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

... When she saw her first strands of grey hair thought she'd dye.

... Acupuncture is a job well done. That's the point of it.

* My thanks to my friend Yagnesh Buch for this contribution