6th December 1993. It was my noble Father in law Major Mohinder Singh ji's 7th death anniversary.
Mohini, my gentle hearted wife wanted to do something thoughtful as a tribute to her father. We agreed that it would be nice to provide warm shawls to the poor. So we bought a 100 woolen shawls and distributed some to the cook, maid chauffeur and the watchmen and some underprivileged people in the immediate neighbourhood.
The problem with the Sikh people is they are a hardworking and therefore a prosperous community. We therefore had no clue where we would find poor people in Pune so we decided to drive around at night and find homeless people and gift them the remaining 85 shawls. Better still we would take our young sons Mohit (10) and Pavit (8) to accompany us to learn about charity.
We were amazed that we could not find any homeless person. Damn! You can't find beggars when you want them. After about 20 min of cruising around in the cold we eventually saw a man sitting cross legged under a tree wearing only a loin cloth.
Mohini asked the boys to gift the shawls with their own hands. So the boys eagerly grabbed one shawl and ran up to him and said "Namaste! it is very cold, we would like you to have this shawl to keep you warm." The boys were shocked when the man snatched the shawl and flung it in the other direction. He scowled at the boys and they fled back to the car.
We drove towards the railway station, there would certainly be some poor people there. After about half an hour, we finally spotted a man sitting on the pavement with two medium sized plastic shopping bags. He appeared lost in thought. Our sons cautiously walked up to him and handed him a shawl.
He was taken aback. He returned the shawl saying, "I don't need this shawl." The boys pressed him to keep it saying that "Don't worry you don't have to pay for it. It's a gift and it will keep you warm during these cold winter nights."
He replied in a strange tone, "I am already struggling to cope with so many possessions" and he pointed to the two plastic bags. "Please take your shawl back as I have no place to keep it. Thank you for your kindness but I am quite comfortable."
Confused and dejected the boys returned back to the car. They refused to proceed with the charity effort that night.
Mohit said "Really strange, we thought these guys were poor, but they behave like they are very wealthy, mom do you think they are crazy? He is content with his meagre possessions and no roof over his head." He asked "Dad, mom, how can that be possible?"
We had no answer as we drove back home silently, each of us lost in our thoughts, mulling over what had just transpired. It has been 22 years since that incident but none of us speaks about charity in the same arrogant patronising manner anymore. Much, much later we finally came to realise the meaning of that evening.
The next day we handed the remaining shawls to the Gurudwara* for distribution to the needy.
Mohini, my gentle hearted wife wanted to do something thoughtful as a tribute to her father. We agreed that it would be nice to provide warm shawls to the poor. So we bought a 100 woolen shawls and distributed some to the cook, maid chauffeur and the watchmen and some underprivileged people in the immediate neighbourhood.
The problem with the Sikh people is they are a hardworking and therefore a prosperous community. We therefore had no clue where we would find poor people in Pune so we decided to drive around at night and find homeless people and gift them the remaining 85 shawls. Better still we would take our young sons Mohit (10) and Pavit (8) to accompany us to learn about charity.
We were amazed that we could not find any homeless person. Damn! You can't find beggars when you want them. After about 20 min of cruising around in the cold we eventually saw a man sitting cross legged under a tree wearing only a loin cloth.
Mohini asked the boys to gift the shawls with their own hands. So the boys eagerly grabbed one shawl and ran up to him and said "Namaste! it is very cold, we would like you to have this shawl to keep you warm." The boys were shocked when the man snatched the shawl and flung it in the other direction. He scowled at the boys and they fled back to the car.
We drove towards the railway station, there would certainly be some poor people there. After about half an hour, we finally spotted a man sitting on the pavement with two medium sized plastic shopping bags. He appeared lost in thought. Our sons cautiously walked up to him and handed him a shawl.
He was taken aback. He returned the shawl saying, "I don't need this shawl." The boys pressed him to keep it saying that "Don't worry you don't have to pay for it. It's a gift and it will keep you warm during these cold winter nights."
He replied in a strange tone, "I am already struggling to cope with so many possessions" and he pointed to the two plastic bags. "Please take your shawl back as I have no place to keep it. Thank you for your kindness but I am quite comfortable."
Confused and dejected the boys returned back to the car. They refused to proceed with the charity effort that night.
Mohit said "Really strange, we thought these guys were poor, but they behave like they are very wealthy, mom do you think they are crazy? He is content with his meagre possessions and no roof over his head." He asked "Dad, mom, how can that be possible?"
We had no answer as we drove back home silently, each of us lost in our thoughts, mulling over what had just transpired. It has been 22 years since that incident but none of us speaks about charity in the same arrogant patronising manner anymore. Much, much later we finally came to realise the meaning of that evening.
- The rich are not those who have much but those that have stopped desiring more.
- By accepting the donation the recipient defines the donor.
The next day we handed the remaining shawls to the Gurudwara* for distribution to the needy.
__________________________________
A Gurudwara - is a place of congregation for Sikhs to hold religious discourses. They also feed the needy.
Anil Pillai said
ReplyDeleteHow true! Amazing story.
Anil
AR Parmeswaran said
ReplyDeleteGreetings.
It was very interesting to read the article.
Quite honestly, I am also a bit confused about this charity business.
Often we think we should carry out charity work with some thing we can afford and we end up deciding ourselves what the needy want.
This incident of yours with your family is a typical example of such a decision.
In Bhagawad Gita it is advised that help the deserving.
It indirectly means that we have to find out what the needy wants before volunteering to help.
Regards, A.R.Parameswaran
Harbans SIngh Khanduja said;
ReplyDeleteRainy,
I am impressed with the charity work that the family wanted to do.
I have seen similar acts from my father in law, Sr. Santokh Singh. Unlike your experience the poor in Orissa accepted the gifts.
I travelled with him occaisonally at night to visit his various sites. The trunk of his car used to be filled with blankets which he distributed to the poor who were sleeping on the pavements.
He would also travel by train from city to city and would buy & distribute to each needy person a Bed Sheet a Pillow & a Blanket.
Regards.
Harbans S. Khanduja
Commodore Rajan Vir said;
ReplyDeleteThank you Gurvinder, noble thoughts indeed. Best wishes to you and Mohini.
Rajan
Usha Dravid said;
ReplyDeleteVery illuminating. Thanks.
Uday Philar said;
ReplyDeleteDear Gurvinder,
That was a nice post. Perhaps another lesson learnt that night, which will remain with your children for the rest of their lives is the warmth that lies in giving.
You may have been unlucky that night in meeting the 2 people who refused your gift. Maybe that was God's way of redirecting them to the people who were really in need.
Whenever you are in Mumbai, pause a little while driving from Cadell Rd , Mahim to the airport. You will find 3 eateries to your left, with a small crowd of people sitting patiently outside. (I think one of the joints is called Medina)
There are a zillion cars passing by each day. Once in a while a car pauses and a charitable soul hands out Rs 100 to one of the alert minders who rushes up and 10 people are ushered in for a meal.
I learned about this year ago. My visits to Mumbai are infrequent, but whenever I pass that way, I always see that some of the poor are fed. It does not require any effort, Mumbai traffic ensures that your car pauses for a couple of minutes close by.
If even 1% of the car passengers stopped each day to listen to their hearts for just a minute, there would be no crowd of hungry people.
It is only a few good people who let their hearts dictate their actions. I guess you have passed this very important lesson to your next generation. Our nation needs a lot more such people.
Kind rgds.
Uday
Narinder Wasu ji said;
ReplyDeleteDear Gurvinder,
I have been a great friend of your Uncle Manohar Singh ji.
Also your father in law - Mohinder Singh ji is a great Sant.
Please write me more about his life achievements.
Keep up the good work.
Best Regards and Lots of Love.
Narinder
sknsw@hotmail.com