Coffe, Tea or Punch?

Who will help you cope with GST?

GST - The new Goods and Services Tax will be launched on 1st July 2017.

The date is significant because it is also Chartered Accountants Day as well as Doctor's Day. If the former can't solve your problem, the latter will.

The Statue

A woman was in bed with her lover  when she heard her husband opening the front door. 

'Hurry,' she said, 'Stand in the corner.' 

She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder. 

'Don't move until I tell you,'  she said. 'Pretend you're a statue.' 

'What's this?' the husband inquired as he entered the room. 

'Oh it's a statue,' she replied. 

'The Smiths bought one and I liked it so I got one for us, too.' 

No more was said, not even when they went to bed. 

Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned  with a sandwich and a cold drink. 

'Here,' he said to the statue, 'have this. I stood like that for two days at the Smiths and nobody offered me a damned thing.' 

You cannot demand love, but ....

"You cannot demand love, 
all you can do is make yourself loveable.

You cannot demand trust,
all you can do is make yourself trustworthy.


However you can demand attention,
by making a damn nuisance of yourself."

~ Gurvinder Singh

Life without you

One day, some time ago, my wife, Mohini, struggled with trying to open a jar without success. Then she requested me to assist her.
I opened it in a jiffy.

Then with a flourish, I handed it back to her saying, "What will you do without me?"
She replied,  "Who wants to live without you?"

I leant that day, that, 

Success is getting what you want, and happiness is wanting what you have got.

Marriage and partnerships are some of the most difficult social tests we humans have to encounter. 

Outcomes can be of several shades. 

At the bottom are negatives which are feelings of disdain, hatred, tolerance and worst feeling is indifference. 

At the top are positive results which include acceptance, desire, joy and if very lucky bliss. 

• To see faults in others is natural.
• To see goodness in strangers is a blessing.
• To see goodness in a spouse or partner is a bloody miracle.

What are religions fighting over?

PG Wodehouse, - Great humour again

"He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more."
― P.G. Wodehouse

"At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability to handle difficult situations which a man, if he is lucky, manages to achieve somewhere in the later seventies."
― P.G. Wodehouse, Uneasy Money

"There are moments, Jeeves, when one asks oneself, 'Do trousers matter?'"
"The mood will pass, sir."
― P.G. Wodehouse, The Code of the Woosters

"He had the look of one who had drunk the cup of life and found a dead beetle at the bottom."
― P.G. Wodehouse

"I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled."
― P.G. Wodehouse, The Code of the Woosters

"She looked as if she had been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say "when". "
― P.G. Wodehouse

"I always advise people never to give advice."
― P.G. Wodehouse

"A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of one who has searched for the leak in life's gas-pipe with a lighted candle." 

― P.G. Wodehouse, The Man Upstairs and Other Stories

"There is only one cure for grey hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine."

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It was a confusion of ideas between him and one of the lions he was hunting in Kenya that had caused A. B. Spottsworth to make the obituary column. He thought the lion was dead, and the lion thought it wasn't.

Ring for Jeeves (1953)

________________ 

"And she has got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need".

______________________

"When I see lovers' names carved on trees, I don't think it's sweet. I only wonder how many people bring a knife on a date "

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My thanks to the fascinating Mr. Ravi VS for this contribution