I am not that young to know everything

After emigrating from Burma in 1964 our parents set up home in Bombay.

Even then, there was a severe shortage of good schools. So two of my brothers and I were sent to beautiful Pune to spend most of our schooling years as boarders at The Bishops School.

In 1969 my uncle Sardar Manohar Singh ji moved to Pune to start a factory to manufacture automotive and engineering components. In 1972, upon Uncle's insistence, my brother Parvinder and I left the hostel to stay with him and our two aunts Prem Kaur ji and Rajbans Kaur ji.

Being a day scholar was great in many ways, meeting girls, the freedom from the boarding school regimen and of course the food. I however missed my boarding school friends for the mischief and the games etc.

Everything always turns out for the better for I had the opportunity to have two sets of parents.

My uncle was my dad's business partner and also head of the family. He was, and remains my idol. Uncle Manohar ji seemed to have answers to nearly every question that my chattering mind could think of. Having no children of their own, our uncle and aunts pampered us while maintaining a strict sense of discipline and protocol.

He took us swimming, golfing, yachting , gliding, aero modelling, tennis. Even at that tender age he taught both of us brothers all sorts of technical stuff, and many holidays and weekends were spent doing various assignments at the factory. My uncle was a tough father figure, yet he was a great teacher and also my best friend.

From him I learnt how to rely on myself by continuously discovering and improving myself. I learnt about commitment, integrity, love, friendship, play, survival, and to be the best I could be.

Uncle Manohar ji and my father had formal schooling only till the fourth grade. They had no choice, outbreak of hostilities of the second world war Burma disrupted many lives.. Yet the two brothers educated themselves by reading voraciously, they learnt to speak impeccable English, developed into successful businessmen and industrialists. They travelled the world, and contributed both their time and their money to society in numerous ways.

I was amazed at how my dad and uncle could hold interesting conversations with people of all walks of life. When I asked him how that was possible Uncle said; "A well educated person should know something about everything and everything about something", this was a belief that shaped my outlook on life.

I was and still remain in awe of my uncle. Numerous days and evenings were spent with him, observing him and hearing stories, legends, facts, beliefs, that gradually shaped my mind and values. He often told me no matter how successful or big your parents become, you must make your own mark. Do not rest until you have achieved something.


Uncle Manohar ji was a good teacher and lit a flame in me.
For a long time I would lap up whatever uncle Manohar told me.
Then as I grew into a young man I naturally thirsted for independence. Independence to try my ideas, to live my life as I often dreamed of. so I began to probe further. In time this led to more discussions and then finally to debates. Though always obedient and respectful I started presenting my viewpoints to my uncle with more conviction and force.

Herein lies the contradiction; parents want their children to rise and shine but always want to keep them sheltered under their wings. We frequently forget as Khalil Gibran the great Lebanese Poet said; " Your children may come from you, but they belong not to you".

When the discussions turn into debates it is a frustrating time for both children and parents. The parents find it difficult to accept the new and assertive child. Gurvinder now has ideas of his own and articulates them with greater conviction. On the other hand young people can't understand why their parents are so rigid, inflexible, and overprotective.

This sparring went on for a few months until one evening in the midst of a debate my uncle with resignation said; "You are right, you are absolutely right."
I was stunned. My very wise uncle, intensely competitive was anything but a pushover and here he merely conceded that I was right. I heard him repeat himself and then he smiled.
"When I was your age even I knew everything. Now I am 52 years old and I now realise how little I know." He continued "This is not your fault , it is the nature of youth, for it so fills you with optimism, vigour and supreme confidence".

My sons have recently joined the family business and we all work together. We have numerous debates sometimes silly and quite fruitless. The conflicts are mainly on the wisdom and caution of aging parents versus the dynamism and eternal optimism of youth.

Though we always come to an agreement this consumes much energy , but I like to believe it's a useful investment of energy. Youth should constantly test themselves and challenge the status quo. We elders and parents may not always feel comfortable with it but this is the way it has been and this is how it will always be.

It is not easy and pretty challenging but I always try to remember Uncle Manohar ji's wise words. It is difficult to appreciate the impetus that youthful members bring to the team. After all who wants to be jolted? Revolutionary thinking, techniques, technology, and materials coupled with enormous drive, and confidence can be a boon to families and organisation if harnessed well. I often move from doing to letting them do but to a plan which they submit and review and support them continuously.

On the other hand, youth if unguided can run amok. If over controlled will either rebel or lose all initiative and that would be a tragic loss of youthful zeal.

If left to their own devices they can easily destroy years of achievements and hard earned reputation very rapidly.

I know that knowledge is getting obsolete rapidly and therefore 'learning to learn' has been a guiding philosophy. At least two hours a day are spent on learning and keeping abreast of all kinds of developments.

It helps that I sharpen my mind constantly, but what to do with this middle aged heart which does not beat so strongly as before?