We human beings are somewhat the same underneath these masks that we wear and the games that we play. I think it is great that we get an occasional reality check.
Inside many of us lurks a dominating bully if only we could find someone to torment. Many parents, teachers and bosses are guilty of this offense.
We accumulate our frustrations with other people and things and bring that garbage back with us, only to dump them on the people who love us most, our family and friends.
One day I got upset at a trivial act of Mohit my son who was 15 at that time. I ranted and was an inexcusably horrible person.
After 10 minutes I had physically exhausted all my frustration, but my ego made me feel that I was completely justified in my conduct. Mohit looked at me straight in the eye and asked, "Dad, how would you feel if I spoke to you in the same manner?"
Respectfully and in one soft spoken question my son deflated me of all my toxic anger and I felt terribly stupid and deeply ashamed. I realised that day that my son had grown up into a giant of a personality whereas I felt I had somewhat shrivelled.
Tears came to my eyes and I hugged Mohit. It was then that he broke down sobbing uncontrollably. It has been 15 years since that incident and never again did I speak with anyone again in that thoughtless and rude manner.
The child is indeed the father of man.
Vasant Khisty said;
ReplyDeleteYes I do repent many such acts of mine. I am guilty of taking out my anger and frustration on my son, even in front of other people.
I have said sorry to my son many times. Volcanoes always look for softest spots and in my case it was my son.
This mail brought out sad memories and I hope I could start all over again.
Vasant
Anil Pillai said;
ReplyDeleteHi Gurvinder,
Didn't realise that your son was around 28. Handsome young man. Lucky to have a father like you and vice versa.
Regards,
Anil
Malay said;
ReplyDeleteHey G,
I cannot forget you...! How did your meetings go with John..?
By the way Mohit looks really handsome in the picture, May be I should look for a Punjaban Girl for him...ha ha ha...!!
Cheers
Malay
Jessy Anand said;
ReplyDeleteThis is education in true form whilst growing up or even if one has moved to adulthood.
Never ending process. Keeps going on and on.
I guess a learning process to eternity.
Thanx n Good Luck.
jesse'
Dear Jessy, (jessyanand@gmail.com)
ReplyDeleteI loved your comments and posted it on my blog for others to enjoy.
We stop growing when we stop learning.
I guess the need of the changing mores is to learn, unlearn and relearn continuously
Thnx & God Bless U
Rainy
Iftekhar said;
ReplyDeleteHi Gurvinder,
This is the shortest and sweetest posting you have made on your blog. Believe me this is the only one I have read completely.
Thanks
Iftekhar
iftekharsayed@yahoo.com
Gaurav Anand said;
ReplyDeleteThat's a nice story... Touches the heart... :)
Gaurav
MM Rao said;
ReplyDeleteSir,
I consider myself a lucky person to have the opportunity to read your article, educating, interesting, and to know of someone's life examples and instances.
Please continue to write and I am sure one day this will form the basis of a valuable book.
Regards
MM Rao
mmrao58@gmail.com
Kamal S Roohani said,
ReplyDeleteSo true we all have to learn sometime or the other that though we r parents we also have every right to listen to our children. Your article is too good.
Regards Kamal.
ksroohani@hpcl.co.in
Kamal ji,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your kind words of wisdom.
Wish you all the best.
Gurvinder
PS Soni said,
ReplyDeleteThanks for sending these thoughtful messages
Pl do keep sending them
And I need to be in control not out of control
Regards
pssoni@gmail.com
Fiorella said,
ReplyDeleteDear Gurvinder,
thanks for describing this personal fact as well as for your reflections.
My son will be 20 this week and I confess that I faced similar situations that made me look at him under a different and deeper light, realizing that the time had come for me to talk to him as an adult and no more as a kid.
Often, in today's life, we take home from work all our worries and troubles, we are unable to find the limit and understand that family members are the true meaning of our life.They don't need to be our drainage when the only thing they want is 5 minutes of our time in relax and conversation in front of a cup of tea.
I hope to continue to have a great dialogue with my kid as I succeeded till now; it's the greatest unbeatable reward which makes us feel unique and unreplaceable.
Take care and best regards,
Fiorella
fiore.lella@yahoo.it
Zabeen said,
ReplyDeletedear Gurvinderji,
I completely support the thought though i believe i make a stubborn and painful student! My children have taught me more than they'll ever know.
thank you for sharing
zabeen
Raj said;
ReplyDeleteDo you see a connection between violence against women and Bollywood 's portrayal of women as sex objects i. e. scantily clad during dances?
Harnal Raj
Dear Harnal ji,
ReplyDeleteYou are absolutely right.
I will send you an article I wrote after Nirbhaya case some months ago.
http://rainysingh.blogspot.in/2012/12/rapes-will-increase-unless.html
I wonder how our concern can be channelised into action.
Regards
Gurvinder