Please, keep us close to you.

Last year Mohini and I spent a quiet new year's eve. We visited the Gurudwara followed by a quiet dinner. Then the rest of the evening and night was spent at home, babysitting and enjoying the antics of our two naughty grandsons.

As we grey, we spend a lot of time reminiscing. We recalled a new year we celebrated many, many years ago, in 1996.

"Dad, can we come with you and mom this  evening to the new year party?" asked our 15 year old son, Mohit, accompanied by his 13 year old sibling, Pavit.

"Of course not", I retorted. "Don't cling to us. You better go along with your friends. That is who you should be spending your new year time with."

It didn't bother me the least, that Mohit, looked crest fallen, for I was making a man out of my son. He had to learn to be strong and independent.

In fact, I felt damn proud of myself, as I left for work.

That evening Mohini my wife asked, "What did you say to Mohit? Why can't the boys come with us? I have spoken to our friends, and they are quite comfortable if the boys come with us to the dinner and party. Please let them come."

"No! My decision is made, and please don't argue with me", I said curtly.

"Do you know what your son said? Do you have any idea what is going on in that young boy's mind and heart?" Mohini asked.

"Don't make a sissy out of him", I scolded her.

She sat me down and quoted Mohit. 

"Mom, very soon I will be busy, with my friends in college and then my professional studies in engineering.  My studies and career will consume nearly all my time and marriage thereafter. We have only these few years remaining,  that the four of us can spend real quality time together. We will never have this time again." 

He continued "I want to spend these years with you both and Pavit so that I can relish these times for all my life.  This is why I want us to be with you.  So Mama, please keep us close to you, while you can."

My macho arrogance, had blinded me and had stolen my empathy and love. It had made me both senseless and heartless. 

Could I not have had the same conversation with my son as Mohini had? 

Why had I failed to hear and feel what our son so dearly felt?

In this matter, who was showing greater wisdom and maturity, the father or the son?

Tears welled in my eyes and I wanted to kick myself. How could I make it up to him? I went to his room, and there he sat reading a book. 

With a weak smile he said, "Mom explained everything to me. Dad, it's ok, if you cannot take us with you. You and mom have a great time. Pavit and I will just chill out at home and watch TV."

I walked up to him, grasped his shoulders, stood him up. I embraced him real tight, and kissed him on his forehead. I said, "I am sorry, I refused you in the morning. On second thought, its a great idea that you came with us."

The four of us went together, to the new year party. We joked about and laughed so much that our stomachs ached, we danced until our legs hurt.  Then we danced and laughed even more... . The easy spontaneity,  fun, bonding and love, made it a fabulous, unforgettable happy evening, 

Thanks to Mohini and our sons, I became a better father and human being. 

Now 22 years later everything has happened almost exactly as Mohit foresaw it.  Even though we all stay together, our lives travelling in different orbits, allow us fewer  occasions to spend time together.

Our sons have grown up, are married, and fathers now. Its but natural that they devote their lives to the future. Their time is devoted to their work, wives, children, friends and associates. We have to struggle to find quality time as a joint family. 

Nowadays when the six of us and our grandsons get to spend time together, we still enjoy ourselves a lot, but it is somewhat different. The love and the magic is there, but it is not so overpowering anymore. Its not so intense and definitely less insane. 

.

Mohini and I draw consolation from Khalil Gibran's words, "Our children come through us, but they belong not to us ........". 

Science and Faith - APJ Abdul Kalam

An atheist professor of philosophy speaks to his cl-ass on the problem science has with God, The Almighty. He asks one of his new students to stand and.....

Prof:-So you believe in God?
Student:-Absolutely, sir.
Prof: -Is God good?
Student:-Sure.
Prof:-Is God all-powerful?
Student: -Yes.
Prof:-My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to God to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God didn't. How is this God good then? Hmm?

(Student is silent.)

Prof:-You can't answer, can you? Let's start again, young fellow Is God well?
Student:-Yes.
Prof:-Is Satan good?
Student: - No.
Prof:-Where does Satan come from?
Student:-From...God....
Prof:-That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?
Student:-Yes.
Prof:-Evil is everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything. Correct?
Student:-Yes.
Prof:-So who created evil? 
(Student does not answer.) 
Prof:-Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don't they?
Student:-Yes, sir.
Prof:-So, who created them?

(Student has no answer.)

Prof:-Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son...Have you ever
seen God?
Student:-No, sir.

Prof:-Tell us if you have ever heard your God?
Student:-No, sir.

Prof:-Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smelt your God? Have you ever had any sensory perception of God for that matter?
Student:-No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.

Prof: -Yet you still believe in Him?
Student:-Yes.

Prof:-According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?
Student:-Nothing. I only have my faith.

Prof:-Yes. Faith. And that is the problem science has.
Student:-Professor, is there such a thing as heat?

Prof:-Yes.
Student:-And is there such a thing as cold?

Prof:-Yes.
Student:-No sir. There isn't. 
(The lecture theatre becomes very quiet with this turn of events.)   
Student-: Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don't have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that.
There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it. (There is pin-drop silence in the lecture theatre.)

Student:-What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?
Prof:-Yes. What is night if there isn't darkness?
Student:-You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light....But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and its called darkness, isn't it? In reality, darkness isn't. If it were you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?

Prof:-So what is the point you are making, young man?
Student:-Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.

Prof:-Flawed? Can you explain how?
Student:-Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it.
Now tell me, Professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?

Prof:-If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.
Student:-Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?

(The Professor shakes his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument is going.)

Student:-Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher? (The cl-ass is in uproar.)
Student:-Is there anyone in the cl-ass who has ever seen the Professor's brain?
(The cl-ass breaks out into laughter.)
Student: - Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?

(The room is silent. The professor stares at the student, his face unfathomable.)

Prof:-I guess you'll have to take them on faith, son.
Student:-That is it sir.... The link between man and God is FAITH . That is all that keeps things moving and alive.

NB: I believe you have enjoyed the conversation...and if so...you'll probably want your friends/colleagues to enjoy the same...won't you?..... This is a true story, and the

student was none other than.........      APJ Abdul Kalam , the former president of India