Flight safety - Pilots & Technicians

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a “gripe sheet,” which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas’ pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.......


Qantas is the only major airline that  has never had an accident. . Enjoy!

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

-

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit

P: Dead bugs on windshield
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believably level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they are for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Re-programmed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And the best one for the last ...............

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

Prostrate health awareness.

PROSTATE HEALTH AWARENESS LECTURE.

Though this article is targeted at men aged 40 or more years the healthcare enlightenment is for everyone.

Responsible health promotion must provide three things:

1. Information
2. Reassurance
3. A plan of action.

Background on prostate health. 

Everyone has a pair of kidneys.  The job of the kidney is to remove waste. It is the waste management company of your body. Everyday your blood passes through the kidney several times to be filtered. As the blood is filtered, urine is formed and stored in a temporary storage tank called the urinary bladder.

If there were to be no urinary bladder, as a man walks on the road, urine will be dropping.

Now think of the plumbing work in your house. Think of the urinary bladder as the overhead 

storage tank. From the storage tank, a good plumber will run pipes to other parts of the 

house, including the kitchen.

God in His wisdom ran pipes from our urinary bladder to the tip of the penis. 

The pipe is called the urethra. Just below the bladder and surrounding the urethra is a little organ called the prostate gland.

The prostate gland is the size of a walnut and weighs about 20grams. 

Its job is to make the seminal fluid which is stored in the seminal vesicle.

During sexual intercourse, seminal fluid comes down the urethra and mixes with the sperms produced in the testicles to form the semen. So semen technically is not sperm. 

It is sperm + seminal fluid. The seminal fluid lubricates the sperm.

After age 40, for reasons that may be hormonal, the prostate gland begins to enlarge.
From 20 grams it may grow to almost 100 grams. As it enlarges, it squeezes the urethra 

and the man begins to notice changes in the way he urinates.

If you have a son under 10, if he has a little mischief like we all did at that age, 

when he comes out to urinate, he can target the ceiling and the jet will hit target. 

Call his father to do same, wahala dey.

His urine stream is weak, cannot travel a long distance and sometimes may come 

straight down on his legs. So he may need to stand in awkward position to urinate.

Not many men will be worried their urine stream cannot hit the ceiling. 

Toilets are on the floor and not on the ceiling.
But other symptoms begin to show.

TERMINAL DRIPPLING:
The man begins to notice that after urinating and repacking, urine still drops on his pants. This is the reason why after an older man urinates, he has to ring bell. A younger man simply delivers to the last drop and walks away. Just see an older man coming from the bathroom. Sometimes he may clutch the newspaper closely to hide the urine stains, particularly on plain colored trousers.

HESISTANCY
At this point you wait longer for the urine flow to start. There are 2 valves that must open 

for you to urinate – the internal and external sphincters. Both open but because of 

obstructions in the urethra, you wait long for the flow to start.

INCOMPLETE EMPTYING
You have this feeling immediately after urinating that there is still something left.

As all these things happen, the bladder begins to work harder to compensate for the 

obstruction in the urethra. The frequency of urination goes up. Urgency sets in. 

Sometimes you have to practically run into the toilet. Nocturia also becomes common. 

You wake up more than 2 times at night to urinate.  Your wife begins to complain.

Men being men may not talk to anyone even at this point.
Then the more serious complications start.
Stored urine gets infected and there may be burning sensation when urinating.

Stored urine forms crystals. Crystals come together to form stone either in the 

bladder or in the kidney. Stones may block the urethra.

Chronic urinary retention sets in. The bladder stores more and more urine. 

The size of the bladder is 40- 600 ml (milli litres).  A bottle of coke is 50 ml. As the bladder stores more urine it can enlarge up to 3000 ml.

An overfilled bladder may leak and this leads to wetting / urinary incontinence. 

Also the volume may put pressure on the kidney and may lead to kidney damage.
What may likely bring the man to hospital is acute urinary retention. 

He wakes up one day and he is not able to pass urine.

Everything I have described above is associated with prostate enlargement, 

technically called benign prostate hyperplasia.

There are other diseases of the prostate like

1. Prostatitis – inflammation of the prostate
2. Prostate cancer – cancer of the prostate.

This discussion is on prostate enlargement.

I have bad news and good news.
The bad news is that everyman will have prostate enlargement if he lives long enough.
The good news is that there are life style changes that can help the man after 40 to maintain optimum prostate health.

Nutrition
Look at what you eat. 33% of all cancers, according to established research is related to what we eat.

Red meat everyday triples your chances of prostate disease. 

Milk everyday doubles your risk.

Not taking fruits / vegetables daily quadruples your risk.

Tomatoes are very good for men. 

If that is the only thing your wife can present in the evening, eat it with joy.

It has loads of lycopene. Lycopene is the most potent natural antioxidant.

Foods that are rich in zinc are also good for men. We recommend pumpkin seeds (ugbogulu).
Zinc is about the most essential element for male sexuality and fertility.

Men need more zinc than women. Every time a man ejaculates he loses 15mg of zinc. 

Zinc is also important for alcohol metabolism. Your liver needs zinc to metabolize alcohol.

ALCOHOL CONSUMPTION
As men begin to have urinary symptoms associated with prostate enlargement, 

it is important they look at alcohol consumption. 

More fluid in means more fluid out. Drink less. Drink slowly.

EXERCISE
Exercise helps build the muscle tone. Every man should exercise. 

Men over 40 should avoid high impact exercise like jogging. 

It puts pressure on the knees. Cycling is bad news for the prostate. 

We recommend brisk walking.

SITTING
When we sit, two-third of our weight rests on the pelvic bones. 

Men who sit longer are more prone to prostate symptoms. 

Do not sit for long hours. Walk around as often as you can. 

Sit on comfortable chairs. 

DRESSING
Men should avoid tight underwear. 

It impacts circulation around the groin and heats it up a bit. 

While the physiological temperature is 37 degrees, the groin has 

an optimal temperature of about 33 degrees.
Pant is a no-no for men. Wear boxers. Wear breathable clothing.

SMOKING
Avoid smoking. It affects blood vessels and impact circulation around the groin.

SEX
Regular sex is good for the prostate.
Celibates are more prone to prostate illness. While celibacy is a moral decision, it is not a biological adaptation. 

Your prostate gland is designed to empty its contents regularly.

Now I have given you a reason to cheer up.

* My thanks to Gen. Niranjan Malick and Col. RP Singh for this informative and useful article.

New enemies

Whilst on his deathbed, Voltaire was asked by a Catholic priest to renounce Satan. With a smile he replied, 

"Now, now my good man this is not the time to make new enemies"

Who was Voltaire?

François-Marie Arouet a French philosopher was popularly known as Voltaire (1694 -1778).

He was also an enlightenment writer, historian. Famous for his wit, his attacks on the established aristocracy, Catholic Church, and his advocacy of freedom of religion, freedom of expression, and separation of church and state. 

Voltaire was a versatile writer, producing works in almost every literary form, including plays, poems, novels, essays, and historical and scientific works. He wrote more than 20,000 letters and more than 2,000 books and pamphlets. 

He was an outspoken advocate of several liberties, despite the risk this placed him in under the strict censorship laws of the time.  He frequently made use of his works in satirical form to criticise intolerance, religious dogma, and the French institutions of his day.

Not surprisingly Voltaire faced lifelong troubles with the authorities for critiques of dictatorial, unjust and hypocritical forces. 

Voltaire's activities were to result in numerous imprisonments and exiles. Yet the brave man refused to give up his principles.

He mainly argued for religious tolerance and freedom of thought. He campaigned to eradicate dictatorial priestly and aristo-monarchical authority, and supported a constitutional monarchy that protects people's rights.

The character and beliefs of the man can be judged by his words and actions. In arguing a particular case he declared, "I do not agree with what you say, but I shall defend to my dying breath your right to say it." Indeed a lesson for many so called religious and political leaders of today

Despite great pressure and threats from the aristocracy and the Church, Voltaire refused till his dying breath to retract his well-known criticism of the Church.

Satan -The Temptation of Christ - Ary Scheffer 1854

Why do Christians ask that people renounce Satan?

Christians believe that against God's wishes Adam and Eve ate the fruit from the tree of knowledge. Hence they were thrown out of paradise, the garden of Eden by God. God cursed them as sinners and therefore their children would also be born sinners.

Thereafter God felt remorse and wanted to correct the situation. So he sent His own son Jesus Christ, (who was born from the virgin Mother Mary and hence not a sinner) to take upon himself the sins of all of humanity. 

Therefore as per the christian faith only way a person can receive salvation is to renounce Satan, to accept that they believe in God, accept that Jesus as the Son of God who has taken the sins of the believers upon himself.

Satan is believed to be an angel who rebelled against God and therefore evil.

Society is like a stew

"Society is like a stew. If you don’t stir it up every once in a while then a layer of scum floats to the top."

— Edward Abbey

But you can have four wives

Kaveh my friend from Iran, was our guest during a visit to India.

It is normal for people to exchange thoughts about philosophies and culture whenever they interact with foreigners.



I asked him, "You are a muslim, and in your country it is permitted to have 4 wives, is that correct?"


"Yes, but I have only one, though I know some people who have more than one wife"


"How come you have only one wife?"

"Because, I want to sleep at home, not the mosque

Living Genuinely

When you buy something because you like or love it, then value comes not from the price you pay but from the joy or satisfaction it brings to the heart. However if you obtain something for a commercial reason that essential quality goes missing. You always fret about the cost etc. and rarely realise it's value. 

One day a man looking to make a financial investment bought a painting supposedly made by the famous painter Pablo Picasso.  Since this man had bought it merely as a commercial investment with no attraction towards it, he was a worried man.  "Did I pay too much for it?  What if the value does not increase?  The greatest fear, was it a fake?"

He had spent a lot of money and now felt ill with worry. A few days later a friend met the buyer and remarked, how bad the man looked. The man confided in his friend on what was eating him up.

Unlike many great painters who were recognised only after their death, Picasso was very famous and wealthy even while he was alive. The friend reassured him, "If it worries you so much let me help you. Pablo Picasso happens to be well known to me. We will take your painting to him directly and ask him to verify if it is a fake or not."

The man thanked his friend profusely for his assistance. They set a date and time when they would go to meet Picasso himself after the friend had secured an appointment with Picasso. 

After receiving the visitors Picasso examined the painting. After a brief while in a rather dismissive manner, Picasso declared, "This painting is not genuine."

The buyer clutching his forehead the buyer collapsed onto the floor as his knees buckled under him from the shock. moaning, "I should never have trusted that seller, that cheat. Why did I have to buy it? What have I done? I have bought a fake." 

Picasso helped revive the sobbing buyer and said" I never said it was a fake, I said it was not genuine."

The buyer and the friend were  now thoroughly confused. The man asked, "What is the difference? Fake or not genuine, why play with words, is it not the same thing?"

Picasso said, "No, there is a big difference. A fake is something made by someone else. I actually painted this myself, therefore this painting is not a fake. However when I made this painting, I was not really in a creative mood.  A man had come to buy a painting and I had none to show him. I told him to come back next week.  This man would not take a no, he wanted to buy something and he wanted it right away. So I painted something for him in a few hours. This painting is a copy of another painting I had made much earlier. "

"I say it is not genuine because, I never put my heart and soul into it, just some physical and memory work. " This painting it is not a work of art, it is not genuine. It is just some colours on a piece of canvas which lacks passion and a soul. "

______________________________________

This incident explains, why people fall out of love with artists and their creations so quickly.  Why does the song or poem fail to create the magic after some time?

When first produced, it is born out of passion, the story, painting, dance or song has a soul, a life. When we repeat or duplicate it which we often do, it becomes just a mere copy. 

Copies lack a soul, and without that a soul art is just noise, a piece of canvas or paper. Every work of art, or creativity is invaluable. The moment we assign a monetary value to art we give birth to a business and in the bargain we destroy both the art and the artist.

Whenever something is created or prayers offered or friendship made, to earn money, it ceases to be genuine, for it lacks that special quality which it possesses when it is born out of passion and love.

This is also why many relationships personal, social or professional last only for a short period of time before disintegrating. Fakes die soon and genuine endures for long.

______________________________________

Living genuinely is not difficult, all it requires is integrity, to be honest with oneself. Yes it requires courage, to be true to oneself, but it is very worth it.

I have discovered that living genuinely and not as a copy, has enriched my life and made it vibrant. My soul and I are now closer to being one, and nothing can beat that.

Insatiable people

People are generally difficult to please. 
Seeking more for less, is a natural human trait. However, there is a group of insatiable people for whom more is never enough.

Who are these insatiable people? 
Generally speaking you can never fully satisfy, Customers, Boss, Parents, Teachers and Wife.




No matter what you do, this group of people  keep driving you to do more, supposedly to progress and to become excellent. Progress and excellence however, are not goals, they are philosophies, a way of thinking and performing. No one is excellent so we are constantly and bluntly reminded of our imperfections and the need to do more.


This is how it works. They set you some goals or ask you to perform a task often disguised as a request.
Off you go and surprisingly even achieve it, feeling pretty good about yourself. The insatiable will inevitably let you know that your performance was  ok, but you need to do better. 

I have waited all my life for acknowledgement, if not appreciation from people in this category, and after 58 years, I am still waiting. These are the people who kept moving the goalposts, further away whenever I reach them.


The customer wants his rupee to travel further, he wants more value  for what he pays. However value has no upper limit. When is value enough? So they ask for better prices, better quality, shorter deliveries, harder, softer, sweeter, more personalised attention, more variety, less variety, .............. etc.




Bosses are people who are experts on everything and because they pay a salary, they believe they own people.  Things are made more challenging for employees, because most of the time the bosses themselves are clueless on what they want or need.

Some bosses are born, some achieve bossiness and some bosses are thrust on others. Merit is surprisingly often ignored, in the journey of people to becoming bosses,  stealth and cunning are more at work.

Many juniors wonder, like the tortoise on a post, "How the hell did he or she get there?" 



Staying on top is difficult, a boss needs to perform. If bosses get competent subordinates they spend sleepless nights because they might lose out to their juniors. If they surround themselves with inept 'yes men' they cannot perform. Can you blame the boss for being nervous and dissatisfied?

(Good bosses are rare and studies show that 72% of people are willing to take pay cuts if someone would change the boss.)





Parents try their hardest to achieve their dreams through the children. They could take a cue from Khalil Gibran who wrote, **"Children come through you, yet they belong not to you".**

Parents have a great investment in their children and like any good investor they want their investment to perform well.  Successful children are expected to provide higher social standing for parents, which seems to be terribly important to parents.

Parents love their children so much that they will do anything for their children, except let them be themselves.

_____________________________

There are good and their bad teachers. Good teachers are inevitably insatiable.
They choose their students and disciples and then drive them to the edge, almost.
They are probably the purest of the insatiable people.


A wife is an enigma. Even great and successful men have problems in meeting the expectations of the wife. Men are rarely able to decipher what the woman actually means or wants. 

The wife want her man to succeed, but rarely know what needs to be done. She knows that nagging and criticising the man will move him. Unfortunately all movement is not progress.

Maybe the reason why there are more successful men then women, is that women do not have wives.


Insatiable people usually drive us, some positively and other destructively. The mistake they often make is in their belief that they own the person. One can own own things but you cannot own people. Even a slave, you can own his body but never his heart and mind. 

Ownership or possession kills the spirit of the individual. Pushing people results in resentment and poor performance over time. 

On the other hand those who excite people, and get them into believing in themselves are happier and more effective. Resulting in self motivated,  proactive, contented people who are and usually more positive and successful.

My father and Uncle and many of my teachers are long gone. I have new customers and the same wife, but the music is the same. 

I grumble about these insatiable people, but thank God they were and some still there. For I would have been a lesser person without them.